What Are We Afraid Talk About and Why ....

December 20, 2017

Well, a bit long for a blog post, but honestly, I could write a book a whole book about this topic, amybe even make it a series. First, let's qualify something. The references to "people," "some, or "many" is defined as general use. It on no way refers to every individual, since most studies are based on percentages. With that said, let's get to it. Times have certainly changed since I was a boy. You couldn't talk about anything at the dinner table, yet alone ask a question. Does this sound familiar to anyone, "Children should be seen and not heard." But it's 2017. It's a new world. One of openness and curiosity. Intelligence and stupidity. Let's look at some of the things people are afraid to talk about, and not necessarily in this order.  Now get over your personal thoughts and read this from an open-minded standpoint. No matter what you think, THE TRUTH IS ALWAYS THE TRUTH. (here is an additional reference if your interested.)  My list may vary slightly  https://www.quora.com/ After you read this, ask yourself. What things are you-afraid to talk about, and more importantly, WHY?

 

1. Race

2. Religion

3. Death

4. Sex

5. Politics

 

Let's look at each for a moment. People in general, may talk about SOME of these with their own family or closet friends. The vast majority are afraid to openly discuss them. Does that mean that we feel our world is to judgmental? Truth be told, the main reason anyone anyone, even from your earliest school days, is afraid to voice their opinion out of fear of being laughed at, ridiculed, or judged. In out teens, it's about acceptance, or should I say our "desire" to be accepted by our peers. As adults, we do it everyday at work. In meetings, in union meetings. Out of 50 people in a room. It's been shown that one, or maybe two, will be the outspoken ones. Everyone else, is just going along with the crowd. I'm well known for writing about the truth. How did I get that reputation? Because as far back as I can remember, I've lived my life based around what is the truth in conjunction with my value and moral systems. In my social circle, everyone will tell you I have no fear when it comes to speaking the truth. Remember on thing about the truth. It will not always be popular, and it can be many things. But the one thing is will always be, IS THE TRUTH.  

 

RACE - Such a controversial and subjective topic. Are you considered a racist by others? Do you consider yourself a racist? Why should it be so difficult to discuss? Isn't everyone equal? They should be, but to this day, society in general, has still not matured enough to REALLY embrace that. Oh yes, they will say they do, but do they? Just watch the news for that answer. Let's leave a particular color out of this discussion, because frankly, it's not about color. If you want the truth, it's about people. In reality, color is not even relevant. It's a branding or label that is given to an entire race, whether that race is brown, black, green or purple. IT'S A CONCEPT. This topic is based on the FACT they society, no matter who, has to place blame on someone for something.  It's their way of obtaining closure. Very few will take responsibility for what they caused. In larger groups of people, they have that feeling of strength in numbers, and might be more vocal. But in a one-on-one discussion, no way. Why, because they are now the ONLY one standing on the end of that limb. So they shut up. Of course over a phone, or a social media site where there is no chance of physical threat, and if they don't like the comments, they can delete them, everyone will flex their muscles. I guarantee you this. Take two everyday people of different races, colors, or creeds, and put them alone in a room, and there will be no argument, yet alone a discussion. Actually, just the opposite will happen. Both will attest to the fact they aren't judgmental, or racially biased. They will give many examples of the close friends they have or socialize with from a different race.  For some, that will be true, for most, it will be the truth until they walk away from each other. Therefore, because of the religious and racial issues in the world today. People are simply just to afraid to talk about them openly and truthfully. Life is fact, not fiction, so get over it.

 

RELIGION -  Now here's an interesting topic. No matter what religion or faith people follow, they all believe that their God is the only God. So how many God's do you think there are? Hundreds, thousands, some cultures can't even agree on one God. The entire culture interprets their single religion differently. Many choose not to talk about religion for one reason. Rather than relate to it as a spiritual guide to life, no matter what or who they believe in, they either use it as a cause, or they fear the one thing we will talk about next. Another fact. 89% of people that practice a faith, don't know the history of their own religion. You can see how easy it is for man made laws in some religions to dictate the beliefs of a particular religion.  So people fear this topic not out of fear of an argument, simply do to a lack of knowledge. What do we know about knowledge? We know that lack of knowledge is a main contributor to people's fear. We fear what we don't know about. Some of the easiest problems in life are solved by doing one thing. LEARN. 

 

DEATH -  Many never speak of death. It represents the one thing in life that no matter what, it's inevitable.  You can delay it, you can cheat it, but you can't avoid it. It's that fear of the unknown. What's to come? What will I, or will I, even be? How many of you have gone to a wake, people with pay their respects, and often times during a viewing. Someone, actually more than someone, will say one of what I consider fits into the 10 ten most stupid things to say. "One day we will all be in there."  Then they go home, that night they are in bed, they think about that, and get a chill that engulfs their whole body. Okay Einstein, don't wake me up in the middle of the night because you're having nightmares due to your stupidity. To some degree, that is their way of acceptance, even just for that moment. It's simply a matter of fear. Do you think openly speaking of it as a positive move towards understanding it might help? Some fears will never totally go away, but we can learn to live with them, or maybe not. Every death you hear of. In your family, on the news, is always is looked upon as something bad, and let's face it, it is. in some cases its a tragedy, that could have been avoided. Another fact. Almost 90% of all children killed in some form of an accident, those deaths could have been avoided. It was a result of some type of negligence. IS that acceptable to you, because it certainly isn't to me. Every time in my career I had to pronounce a child dead due to an avoidable accident made me furious. But it's a real part of life. You don't have to like it, but you have to face it. Fear.

 

SEX - Next to politics, this is the most interesting of all. Many will say they despise the way sex is portrayed. However, they won't put down the book, or not go see a movie. Besides children's movies, there is some form of sex in almost every movie. Human trafficking for sex alone is a 32 Billion dollar a year industry. Think for one minute where that money comes from. PEOPLE. Oh yes, the people that don't like to talk about sex. Parents to this day, shy away from that topic with their children. It easy to do. By the time you think you think you and your child should have that talk, there are thousands of other children that same age that are already pregnant. Guess somebody waited to long. Why. fear. Fear of the acceptance that the potential exists their young adults will have sex. A parent innately doesn't see their own children as having the potential of having sex at a young age, any more than when their get older, and see their parents older, they believe their parents are having sex. It's a matter of acceptance and in some cases fear. Ask yourself, if your in your early 50's or so, do you look at your parents and think they go to bed at night and do the wild thing? And certainly not in the way you do it. How many conversations have you had with friends and said, "My mother would never do that." Wake up call, they probably did, and maybe still do. You didn't invent the wheel on this one kid. When's the last time you were in a group of people and openly and intelligently discussed sex.  Look at many of the TV commercials and see how many have a sexual selling content to it. Do you think I'm going to buy a pair of underwear because I see a naked guy wearing them in a commercial? People don't talk about sex because they never know who will be offended. Especially in the work place. Almost anything today is considered sexual harassment. A word, a gesture, a phrase. It doesn't even to be directed at you, all you have to do is be within hearing range and find it offensive, complain, and someone just lost their job. TRUTH. I worked in a fire station with 12 men. I've managed an office with up to 20 women. The conversation when they are alone together, not in mixed company aren't that sexually different. Even if it's an intelligent conversation. Fear of an outcome and not wanting to face what has happened to the morality of people, people think that not talking about will make it go away? It doesn't.

 

POLITICS - This is the most ridiculous of all.  It's estimated that up to 39% of friend's and family members stopped talking to each other during the 2016 election campaign year. Are you freaking kidding me? Here's a reference article for you. (https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/02/07/poll-2016-election-breakups/21708912/) Is that absurd or what? I know a couple that ended up in divorce due to the arguments they had regarding their beliefs. First, let's look at reality. What do all the conventions and other ridiculous things politicians do cost tax payers? Let me tell you this. You don't want to know. But if you'd like to vomit, and see where some of your hard earned money goes, google it. Personally, I believe that having political parties is ridiculous. Why do we need them? The left, the right, the ups, the downs, the Democrats, Replications, Liberals, Conservatives and more. GIVE ME A BREAK! Those are just labels, brands. How about this most unpopular opinion. How about you get rid of them all, and let those who want to run do so on their platform. Why do they need a label. $$$$$, that's your answer. Judge them on their platform.  If you ever think you will see a candidate that has NOTHING to regret regarding something in their past, your're just kidding yourself. How about judging them on their accomplishments as well as their failures. Vote for who you believe in. Not just by a particular party you belong to. What has been created? Look at what we have today. Scandals, riots, protests, and why? Because people are sore losers? Really? So let's destroy property and hurt innocent people to show our discontent. Now there's sound logic. So what happens. Be are afraid to talk about politics so as not to engage yourself in what certainly will be an argument. I dated two girls in 2016 and our dating ended because I refused to take their side on political views. I don't have those fears, so it was good by me. So how's that for being an adult? Fear.  

 

So here we are at the end. Let's see if you can guess what the common denominator is in each example. Yes, you are correct. FEAR. Let me say that again, FEAR!  None of this will stop until people can face and deal with their fears. Until people can accept and respect the views of others and move on. You can't change anything unless change is desired. Most do not do well with change. It's a break from their comfort zone. Even it's it's wrong. Sometimes in order to have change, the system needs changing. Frankly, if you want to face the truth. The system will not change because everything revolves around one thing. MONEY. People will never be willing to give that up. Thanks for stopping by, and watch for by last blog post of 2017 this Thursday night at 8:30 PM EST. If you found this interesting, please retweet the post if you got to it from twitter, or share it if you got to it from Facebook. I welcome you all to follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. The final topic on Thursday for this year will be, Love, What does it mean.

 

Thanks. - CJR         

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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