I will admit. When I received a request to talk about this topic, I was afraid to go there. It is like walking the top of a fence. On one side, you have a swamp filled with alligators. On the other, is a pool of acid. One fence you cannot afford to fall off of. It is obvious I am a man. Frankly, as a man, I can understand the question. However, I had to figure out a way to step out of the box and look at the question objectively, rather than subjectively. Thank you, Maria, whose location I was asked not to disclose, for your request to discuss this topic. My goal is not have my readers love me or hate me at the end of this post. It is my goal to help you to realistically look at the question and the answer. Here we go.
FRANKLY: Yes. Men do piss women off. Sorry guys, but that is a fact. That is not to say that women do not return the favor. However, men do it more than women. I think the key to understanding this is to know why it happens. Besides the physical difference between men and women, there are much deeper differences. Let's take a look. Here is a link to a study regarding the difference between men and women multi-tasking, which to some degree involves organizational skills. You can look it over if you would like.
What does this mean? Simply put, by nature, a man does not hold the same importance on things as women do. Therefore, when they miss something, it will anger a woman. Another example might be before making plans, a woman will tend to think to asked their significant other first. Whereas, if a man is playing golf with his buddies, he will make plans for the next golf time without checking with his significant other. That type of behavior is the number one thing that gets under the skin of women. They see it as a sign of not showing them a simple courtesy or respect, when in reality, it is a male trait. With that said, that does not mean they cannot change.
Studies show that women will tolerate things reoccurring many times before they mention it. A man will not. If it bothers them, they will blurt it right out. The build-up of anxiety and anger builds up over time in a woman causing her to get down right angry, and rightfully so. However, we all must take responsibility for our actions. Don't let it build up. Talk about it, and most importantly, talk about a way to fix it; TOGETHER. Human traits in all genders make up what we refer to as "The Human Condition."
With all of that said, the next biggest thing that angers a woman is when a man is simply forgetful. If a woman is out of the house, she is thinking about making dinner, or the kids. Therefore, she is more focused on time management. That is also hard-wired into her. A nurturing nature. She will find it very difficult to understand why the man is out and always comes home late. Discounting the days that are a girls day, or a guys day, where no time expectations are expected, the man is much more easily distracted causing him to come home late. I can admit I was an offender of that. When I was married and would be down the marina working on my boat, I might be ready to leave because I knew it was close to dinner time. On my way, a friend might ask me to give him a hand on his boat, and bang! There it was. The distraction. I would stop and help, have beer or two, and get home well after dinner to an angry wife. Was she right? You bet she was. However, I was just doing what is hard-wired into my male DNA. I certainly was not thinking to myself, let me stay so I can get my wife mad.
You see, there is legitimate differences in the makeup of a man and a woman that causes these issues. The key is to understand them and not take them as a personal act of uncaring or being inconsiderate. Human behavior can never, and will never change unless it is addressed properly. I add properly because addressing any issue out of anger, will never lead to a positive or productive outcome. Hopefully, understanding the cause will help to reduce the anger. Most individuals when placed into a defensive posture, will develop an offensive posture, especially if they feel they are not wrong.
Summary: I am not, nor do I claim to be an expert. I am not a doctor, nor am I giving you advice. I am simply bringing the facts to your attention. As an education major minoring in psychology, and having to study it as a Paramedic, I loved the subject and took some additional course in human behavior. That still does not, nor do I claim to be an expert. What is has taught me is there is a reason why people act the way they do. What is has taught me is how to be understanding and look for the underlying cause. There is always an underlying cause. The difference in people is that there are those that will search for it, and those that will react from it. Maria, whatever your situation is, look for the deeper reason. You may find that it is not personal, just normal behavior for that person in your life.
Keep in mind that change can only occur if two people realize it needs to occur, and both want it to occur. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. Many people talk about these things and find their meeting point before it becomes a problem. Therefore, they don't experience it. This topic and more are discussed in my book "Making Partnership Choices." Please feel free to leave a comment below. You can also subscribe to our mailing list to be notified when a blog is posted by selecting the BLOG tab from the main menu. We never share or sell our email lists. Follow me on Facebook - CaesarRondinaAuthor, Twitter - @caesarrondina, and Instagram - caesarrondinaauthor.
Thank you - Caesar Rondina