What's This Thing Called Love"

April 30, 2019

INTRODUCTION:

Before we begin, I must confess. I have received many requests over the past months to discuss the topic of love, in any form. Believe it or not, many requests came from men. In today's world with women being more outspoken, men have also jumped on that bandwagon as well. This is such a difficult topic to discuss due to that fact that each individual has a different take on it depending on their experiences. Therefore, not to have rotten tomatoes thrown at me in public, I have strayed away from it. In the past week, I received two more requests to talk about love. One individual requested this topic specifically and asked that her name and location not be mentioned. Growing up I was always known as the man that had no filter. Meaning, I spoke my mind. In my younger days, I may not have been as tactful as to how I did that. If one lives their years properly, they do gain wisdom. Now, I still do not have a filter and speak my mind, the only difference being, I now do it tactfully.

 

Allow me to go to say I am not a Doctor nor a Psychiatrist. Although I minored in Psychology, I do not proclaim to be an expert. However, in some areas, one could say I am an expert by graduating from the school of hard knocks. You know that college, we all attended it, but not everyone learned by it. Due to my vast experience in life, and due to my pre-hospital medical profession, I believe I can add value to this topic. You do not have to agree or disagree with what I am about to say because it is my opinion, and is NOT meant to be construed as any form of advice or treatment for what my be affecting you. If you have an issue, you need to seek professional help. So let's begin.

 

LOVE:

Without getting into multiple definitions, I think we can all agree that there are many forms of love. A love for a friend, family member, partner, pets, materialistic things, and more. Each is defined differently. For the purpose of this blog post, I am referring to the love we have for our life partner. Allow me provide you with a link to a good article. It is an older article but explains things well. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-is-2020/201206/the-myth-one-true-love-lifetime      

 

The fact is, people in general, will fall in love more than once in their lifetime. With that said, that does not mean the first person you fell in love with, that love has any less value then the next. Each holds the same value but might have been different. Partially because you may have evolved positively or negatively. People also fall in love for a variety of reasons. Loneliness, fear of being alone as they get older, or, they may be experiencing low self-esteem. In many of these cases, the individual, as much as they do not see it, has probably talked themselves into being in love rather than actually being in love. In most cases, this will surface, and the relationship will probably not survive.

 

SOCIAL DYNAMICS:   

Oh yes, love does have social dynamics. Social dynamics refers to behaviors of a group, or individual, that is a result of their interactions between themselves and others. So, what the heck does that mean? In simple terms, someone may get married because all their friends are, or maybe their friends have been married, and they constantly ask, "When are you getting married?" In it's simplest form, that's peer pressure. Other do it because they have been together so long, they feel as though they are in love, so marriage is the right thing to do, or "It's time." Many times people are questioned because they fall in love sooner than later. There is no rule written anywhere that states two people need to be together for a specific length of time before they fall in love. When a person falls in love is solely dependent on the way that individual thinks and believes. After speaking at many functions along with extensive life experience with many people, I had seen many people fall in love sooner, get married, and stay together as well as those that dated for years before they got married. There is not right or wrong answer. That depends on the stability, and commitment of the two people.  

 

TRUE LOVE ONLY COMES ONCE:

There are many different opinions on this. This also depends on your belief about soulmates. However, I believe that two people will cross paths. They will only get one shot at the golden ring. Where you believe in religion, the universe, astrology, or some other form of the cosmos, the two people that are perfect for one another will know it when it happens. If either has been in love in the past, they will know the difference when they get these feels of love. Yes, there are people that for some reason did not come together the first time they met. If their paths cross again years later, and the circumstances are different, they will fall in love again. However, those are very rare cases because over the years people change in many ways. What attracted them to one another the first time, may not be there the second, even if that were the person they were destined to be with. They might have been years ago, but not now. When this occurs, people do not have time to grow together, and in most cases, will have taken different paths. We have all heard the phrase, "That's the one that got away."  There is more truth to that then you think. Therefore, I believe your truest love, the love that you know without any reservations will last a lifetime, only comes once. Keep in mind that it doesn't mean if you pass that by you will not fall in love again, you will. However, it will never be the same. For the rest of your life, and for some, maybe you are doing this now, will say, "I never should have let them go."

 

CONCLUSION:   

There is no right or wrong to what is love. Love is different for each person and it depends on many factors such as past experiences, failed relationships, and more. The key point to be aware of is, overvaluing something can be just as bad as undervaluing it. Emotions cloud our judgment. Life is such that we all must think with our minds as well as our hearts. Not all things need to make sense. Actually, in most cases. they will not. Also, your decisions, as difficult as they may be at things to make, must be made based on your happiness, not the happiness of family or friends. No one but you has to live your life, and no one but you will pay the consequences, good, bad, or indifferent. So, what is this thing called love? It is the single most factor that will rule most of your life, so do not take it lightly. Give it the time and thinking power it deserves. Love can swallow you up and be beautiful, or it can swallow you up and destroy you. 

 

Please feel free to leave a comment, or browse the site. The second book in my murder mystery trilogy, Life Through A Mirror-The Battle Rages On, is now available. The third and final book in the series is coming in June. Life Through A Mirror-When Murder Calls. That will be followed in September by my love story, When Two Worlds Collide. Oh, and don't forget, A Woman's Fear-Female Abuse. A must read for every woman. Book 1 & 2 in the Life Through A Mirror trilogy are now available, and all my books are available on all major online bookstores. This year we have branched out and opened a video production company call, Altech Videos. Feel free to click on the name and check us out. My YouTube channel subscribers is growing quickly. I never put a large effort into my YouTube Channel. I have now learned the power of that huge platform. Feel free to check it out and subscribe to it if you would like. Here is the link. Caesar Rondina Author YouTube Channel.  Here are the links to my other social media platforms. Keep in mind, most of what I do as a writer revolves around my connection to my readers, so, LET'S CONNECT.

Thank you ..... Caesar Rondina

 

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