Acceptance. What the heck am I talking about. A self-help topic? What is that? A self-help topic is any topic geared towards trying to help others. Many people write self0help topics based on their experiences in life, education, a combination of both, or other factors. When I write a self-help topic or book, it is based on a combination of my life experiences and education. As a career firefighter and paramedic who cared for over 76,000 patients, if I haven't seen it, it's because it hasn't happened yet. I raised three of my own children from my first marriage, and raised two other children for ten years that were my ex-wife's. Have I screwed up in life? You bet your butt I have. We all have. I have seen the best in people, and the worse that anyone could dish out. I brought life into this world, and have pronounced more people deceased in my career than I care to remember. I have seen death by methods most people cannot imagine. Knowledge is great, experience is great. Together, that is one person you want to listen to. I have a quote I am well known for. It goes like this:
" Never expect perfection. No one has it to give."
Therefore, I am not perfect. The only difference that may exist between us is diversity of life experience.
What do I mean when I say ACCEPTANCE? It's really quite simple. Do you accept everything in life that happens to you? Of course, you don't, but you should. Now you are thinking, this guy is full of it. I'm not accepting anything I don 't want to." Great stand. However, how many times in life MUST you accept something because you have no control of it? For example, something at work, a change in your relationship status, or your adult children reach an age where they start making their own choices you do not approve of, and they no longer live with you? The list goes on. My point is, most of the things in life we all are forced to accept, are usually things we do not agree with, but are forced to live with. tell me I am wrong.
Why is acceptance so difficult? Honestly, there is really only one reason. Acceptance almost always represents CHANGE. Change is something many do not like because we are creatures of habit, and we become comfortable with the way things are. Most people DO NOT embrace change, unless it suits their needs. Wow! Doesn't that sound selfish. Actually it is. Many times change is good. Maybe not specifically for you, but for the larger picture and the end goal. Therefore, because we do not like change, we are terrible at accepting things. Keep in mind, that most people associate ACCEPTANCE with CHANGE. If you do not like change, you will not accept it. PERIOD! You will fight is all the way.
Without change, life becomes stagnant. Everything becomes stagnant. Therefore, change is an ongoing part of life. That is the first thing you need to accept. The big question is, what does change have to do with acceptance? I have already shown you that as individuals, we do not accept change well. Therefore, it makes sense that if we do not want something to change, when it does, we will not accept it. We will always try to change it. However, in most cases, we will fail each and every time. Think about that for a moment and reflect. How many times in your life have you SUCCESSFULLY changed something you have not accepted? I am confident that your answer would be many times. Everything I have talked about so far, leads to one other important issue? YOU BECOME UNHAPPY. When that occurs, trust me, you will make those around you miserable, even if it is not their doing.
Another thing to think about. How many times have you come home from work mad or aggravated? Many, I am sure. How did that work for you? How was the rest of your night? Did you want to get up and go to work the next day? What if it were an argument with your significant other? Did it affect your time together at the time, or even longer? The answer to all those questions is YES. You could be the most patient person in the world, but let this demon come into play, and you are a completely different person. You don't see it. Those around you do.
Life is not a TV show. In life, couples do not go to bed happy every night. All the kids are not honor students, and no one has money problems and everyone doesn't drive a fancy car. We live in the world of reality.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
Oh my God, doesn't this sound so bleak? Not really if you learn, understand, and practice one simple concept. ACCEPTANCE. Remember this rule:
You will never change anything you do not like unless you first accept it.
What does that mean? Doesn't it sound like I am telling you to take your medicine and shut up? Not so much. Think about this. Whenever you do not accept something, you spend the majority of your time complaining about it rather than trying to fix, modify, or change it. Therefore, you never will. In time, you will get used to it unless it is something you are really against. Therefore, if you want to change something you feel that strongly about, ACCEPT it first, so you can focus your energy on changing it. Not everything in life you want to change will go your way. Sometimes, we just need to accept what is and move forward. However, that should never stop you from trying. What is paramount is that you do it properly and with a clear mind.
How can you expect anyone to change their mind or want to change anything without a good, strong, and sensible reason? You can't, so why try. Accept what is. Try it. Put a constructive argument together that demonstrates why the change will not work. This applies to work, your personal life, and anything else for that matter. It speaks to many variables. First, it shows you are intelligent and not a hot head. It shows you are reasonable. The most important thing it does, is has greatly REDUCED your stress. People need to ACCEPT the REALITY that not everything will go their way, whether they like it or not. Sometimes in life you win, and other times you do not. There are many ways to institute change. Like my father used to say. "When you reach a point where you don't like where you work, find another job." Change does not always mean that other people must change to your way of thinking. You also have the power to change your situation. However, first, you must have accepted it.
LINKS TO MY MOST RECENT BOOKS:
When Two Worlds Collide, a love story, is now available in print, e-book, and Audio book.
CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE.
Life Through A Mirror-When Murder Calls,
This murder mystery trilogy is now complete and available in Print, E-book, and Audiobook.
A Woman's Fear-Female Abuse is a must-read for every woman, and yes, even men.
All my books are available on all major online bookstores.
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