MAKING PARTNERSHIP CHOICES
This book is dedicated to my dear friend Nancy Johnston. Not only is she a very talented creative artist, she is a very strong woman that has weathered many storms. Through her experiences in life, she expresses her deepest emotions through her art. She views life through the eyes of her heart, mind, soul, along with her deep sense of spirituality. Due to her innate giving nature, she has encountered many obstacles in her quest for happiness. Never once have I seen her stray from either her spiritual or personal beliefs. This book is dedicated to her, and all those that can acquire the tenacity to overcome a relationship or other obstacles in their life and move forward. No one should ever give up hope. There is life after a bad relationship.
“By three methods, we may learn wisdom:
First, by reflection, which is noblest;
second, by imitation, which is easiest; and
third, by experience, which is the bitterest.”
How many times have you put it all out there because someone said all the things you wanted to hear, or made all the correct moves? Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? After some time you may have found that life became a different world? Where did that person go? Where is that person that made you feel like they were yours forever? You were the only person in their life. What happened to all the promises? How many nights did you stay up wondering, "Who is this person lying next to me?"
You will chase the answers to those questions for as long as you are in any relationship that makes you ask those questions. Even after your relationship has ended. After it ends, you will stay up nights trying to figure it out. You will spend hours on the phone with your friends trying to understand what happened while you search for closure. It was never like this, why? Don’t feel alone. You’re not the first one to experience this, and you won’t be the last. In fact, you may experience it again if you don’t understand what causes this and how to prevent it in the future. Together we will discuss all the reasons why we choose a partner, and why these changes occur. We will discuss how our mind, hearts, and emotions, play such a close and often times conflicting role during your decision-making process. Make no mistake, that's EXACTLY what it is. A decision making process, or it should be.
Your choices and free will depend on your understanding, knowledge, and experience. Don’t be so hard on yourself and so quick to take the blame. IT'S NOT ALWAYS YOUR FAULT. You probably didn’t know half of what you will read and learn throughout this book. The stories you will read are true. You will be guided through all you weren't taught in school, or what your parents didn't teach you. They tried, you didn't listen because you experienced it, so now you know it all. You’re grown up now, and it’s assumed you are smarter and have learned some hard lessons so you don't make bad choices.
Think about it. You went to high school, and maybe even college. You dated, got hurt, and should have learned a thing or two during the process. What's worse, it's assumed you did. In our teens, we're in love with everyone we date. The fact is, most encounters are simply passing relationships. Some high school sweethearts might spend the rest of their life together, however, that is extremely rare. However, the hurt you felt then is just as real. The truth is, it’s different, you didn't know how to qualify it. It’s was our first encounters with relationships. They leave a mark. When we're young and experience something even once, we think we know it all. We say we learned our lesson and won’t make the same mistakes going forward. Is that fact, fiction or fantasy? I call it false hope. A coping mechanism everyone uses to avoid reality. We make excuses.
No matter how things seem at the time, we are only scratching the surface of the beginning of our learning process. When we are young our support systems are different. We don’t have the many responsibilities of life, therefore, have that time to explore. We will make bad choices. However, those are the years we should be exploring and learning about ourselves in order to prepare us for adulthood. The time when we face the reality of the world we live in. Our support systems will be different now, and many other issues cloud our judgment. You’re not alone in that boat and you're in good company. Experiences we have all experienced and made bad choices. Knowledge is power when used properly. This power will make you stronger, and help you to make the right choices providing you learned along the way. The sad part is, most do not. Together we can fix that. Maybe even save what you have right now. Together let's explore these questions and more. See where you fit in this web of "Making Partnership Choices."