You Do This and You Don't Even Know It ..

Last night on Twitter I posted some interesting questions. Do we have to speak to communicate? Do we have to yell to be heard? Do we have to explain to be understood? As all things in life are about perception, the answers to all these questions are NO. Have you ever looked across a room and found someone just looking at you? You look back, and just by their face or their eyes, you don’t need words to get the message. So what do you do? You look back and subconsciously between your eyes, your smile and your expressions, you reply. Not a word was said. Have you ever been yelled at, and during the process you look up at the person and look into their eyes, and again, subconsciously develop a facial expression that makes them immediately stop. You never had to yell back. Have you ever been asked a question that you know an answer is expected? You look at that person, exchange eye contact and the person says, “I get it.” Never a word said. Let me share an experience I had a few years back that many of you nay also have experienced. One night I felt like eating out and I was alone. I thought this an excellent opportunity to work on some notes on a lecture I was preparing while having some dinner. I will admit I was a bit lazy and did not feel like cooking. The human condition makes us curious by nature. We stop, look around a room, and go back to what we are doing. I honestly believe it's not in the number of words you say, but more in the words that are said. After a short time, a woman approached my table and said, “Excuse me, am I interrupting?” “I replied, “Not at all." I thought she just might be someone who recognized me from one of my books or appearances. I asked, "How can I help you?” The inquisitive look in her eyes, and her facial expression as well as her mysterious smile, and not of romance, but of curiosity, made me ask her if she would like to sit down. I was done with dinner and enjoying an after dinner espresso. She said, “I guess I should apologize to you.” I asked, “for what?” She replied, “I’ve been watching you, and I noticed how you look around the room several times, and I’m sure you must have noticed me looking at you.” I stated, “Yes I did, and smiled.” I also added, “Please do not misunderstand, I didn’t notice you because I had any intentions.” Hitting on women is not my style. I said, “Actually, I found your glances interesting and intriguing. I knew exactly what you were thinking. You had a look of curiosity, and maybe some confusion. Your eyes gave it away, and not in a romantic way.” She explained that was a professor of human behavior, and found me very interesting. She went on to describe my facial looks as I looked around the room, the actions of my eyes and my projected body language. Due to her area of expertise, I was intrigued. Human behavior is one of my favorite topics. The ability to project your message, called persona, as well as the ability to read the projections of others is a tremendous asset. Body language, facial expressions, people’s movements, how they move, slow, subtle, or with intention. These are all parts of communicating. Especially a person eyes. I’m not formally educated in human behavior on a scholarly level, but certainly through life’s experiences. I will match that expertise with anyone. It’s a trait that is learned through experience. Many times in my medical career I was faced with people threatening myself and my partner and had to determine quickly if that threat was real. Remember the saying in my book, perception perceived is perception achieved, meaning, I don't have to do anything, I just have to make you think I will. Body language, posture, eyes, facial expressions, a smile, the way someone walks and carry's themselves are the key factors to reading a person you know absolutely nothing about. It also is very important to be able to read your partner so you know how to handle a given situation. Your co-workers, your boss, your family. It encompasses every aspect of your life and can be your best tool. Most do it every day and don't even realize it. Maybe it's time to tune up that skill. Learn to be able to do this, and you will be amazed of how you could control your environment as well as your life. We are not talking about day to day human contact here. Of course in a work meeting you have to speak to be heard. What we are talking about has a far deeper meaning. A meaning that speaks to your soul, and to you as a person. You can ask a women to dance from across the room without ever having to say a word. You can know her answer without ever having to be told. You can tell the truth vs a lie. You can also know your enemies as well as your friends. There are numerous articles about this and they are extremely interesting. I’ve have a couple of friends who have developed this quality and to this day, they would tell you it changed their life. Think about it. How could it change yours? There s nothing sneaky about it. It's not a trick. It's just who you are. Do you want to be mysterious, intriguing to someone else? Would you rather be out spoken? Do you sit at the beginning of the bar, of the end? What about a simple nod of your head. It is a sign of acceptance, understanding, or both? Does how you dress define who you are, are can you portray the same qualities about yourself without being in a suit? How often have you ever really thought of these things? It is a woman's looks, or her persona that she portrays that makes heads turn when she walks into a room? Or even a man for that matter. It's not gender specific. Persona. What do you portray about yourself without even having to say a word? There it is in a nut shell, and I could write a book about but this blog made it's point. Oh, by the way, For those of you that are wondering, and I know there are, I never told you how that story ended. We had some cocktails, laughed and talked for about two hours. A wonderful experience that I honestly enjoyed. She paid me an excellent complement by telling me I was one of the most intriguing men she had ever met. Maybe to much wine? We did not exchange numbers. There was no talk about meeting again. This was simply an old fashioned “HUMAN CONNECTION,” and I have never seen her again. How about commenting and sharing your stories?

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