Beating The Holiday Blues - Effective strategies for beating the holiday blues.

Caesar Rondina, Author | Public Speaker
1 day ago
12 min read

INTRODUCTION: Beating the holiday blues.

Greetings to all. I would like to wish everyone a safe, healthy, and Happy Thanksgiving. Tonight's self-help topic is a request from a subscriber. In their email, they wrote, "Every year, I feel so down around the holiday season. I don't know why. I have a wonderful family, we always have a great time, but I don't understand why I get so down before the holidays. Can you discuss this and hopefully shed some light on it? I am sure I'm not the only one who gets this way around the holiday season. Thank you." My subscriber asked me not to mention their name or location.

Let me say, they are not alone. Honestly, many of us have had these feelings around the holidays at one time or another, and for various reasons. Keep in mind that just because you may have never experienced these feelings does not mean others do not, and it does not diminish the importance of their emotions and emotional well-being. Therefore, I view this as an essential topic worth discussing.

As I stated, the "Holiday Blues" can come from a variety of reasons. Financial issues, current or previous loss of a loved one, relationship problems, work, deeper-rooted emotional problems, physical workload, loneliness, stress, or weather. Also, any other factors affecting an individual.

When we were all younger, most of these issues did not exist for us. We played, and when the holiday feast was ready, we sat and ate, then went on with our day while the adults did all the work. Weren't those the best years? Alas, as time passes, we get older, things change, and we begin to pick up some of these duties. We get married, suffer the loss of loved ones, and now the holiday traditions fall into our laps. It is now our job to carry on the family traditions for the sake of our family and children. It's our inherent desire to keep our family legacy alive.

We don't realize until we now have these responsibilities, how challenging this was for our parents. Sometimes the love of the holidays isn't enough to get us through. For whatever reason, we suffer from the "Holiday Blues." But there is a solution. There always is.

Let me give you an example. In my case, my adult years were spent working as a career firefighter and paramedic. I grew up in New England — Connecticut, to be precise — so, due to a rotating schedule, I missed some holidays with my family. Also, I was used to it always being cold around Christmas time. Cold and Christmas went hand in hand. If we were lucky, we would have a little snow to go with it. We do not realize how much our environment affects us.

I moved to Florida over four years ago. I distinctly remember my first Christmas here. I was so bummed out. It didn't seem normal to me to be wearing shorts and a T-shirt on Christmas Day. It just wasn't normal. Even seeing all the decorations and spending time with my family here in Florida didn't make it feel like Christmas. My first couple of years here, it was challenging for me to get into the Christmas spirit. In Connecticut, the tree was always up, the house was decorated, and it felt like Christmas. For two years in Florida, I did not put up a tree or decorate my home, and Christmas was just another day of the week.

Of course, I enjoyed the dinner with my family, but it just wasn't the same. Therefore, there was no longer the excitement of the Christmas season for me. The grandkids were no longer adolescents and were growing up. There was no longer the mystery of Santa Claus. No snow meant no snowball fights, and no snowmen were made. Wow! For me, this was a significant culture shock. A far step away from the norm I grew up with. Yes, I got used to it. No, I do not decorate like I used to, but I do put up a tree. But honestly, I don't think the Christmas Season, except for its spiritual meaning, will ever be the same for me.

I often thought to myself, how do people living in Florida tell their children that Santa lands on their roof, slides down their chimney, and puts gifts under the tree? How do they understand Frosty the Snowman when they have never experienced snow, or making an igloo or a snowman? Then I realized, they do understand. They just grew up under an umbrella that represented a different sense of normal than I did. This taught me a valuable lesson. You see, I missed the Christmas I was used to. The lesson learned was that we may want things, but we can't miss what we never had because we never experienced it to begin with. Therefore, everyone's normal is different. We may all want to be millionaires, but we don't miss being one because we have never experienced what it was like to be one.

Oftentimes, the solutions to our feelings are common sense, and the answers are right in front of us. We may not see them because our emotions are clouding our vision. Hopefully, if we break this topic down together, it will help anyone experiencing these feelings. After all, we are all human, and we all have feelings. I would also like to add that there are times when a catastrophic event might occur near a holiday, robbing us of our joy. Saddness, along with happiness, is a part of life's emotions. Let's get started.

UNDERSTANDING THE HOLIDAY BLUES:

The holiday season, often painted with joy, warmth, and togetherness, can ironically induce feelings of sadness, loneliness, and anxiety for many individuals. This paradox is frequently called the "holiday blues." Common triggers include the pressure to meet societal expectations, loneliness for those without family nearby, and reflection on lost loved ones. The question then arises: how can one effectively cope with these feelings and reclaim joy during this festive season?

A variety of coping strategies can dramatically improve one's mindset and overall well-being during the holidays. Here's a guide to navigating the holiday blues effectively.

Effective Coping Strategies

Acknowledge Your Feelings
Establish Boundaries
Stay Active
Connect With Others
Create Your Own Traditions
Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Seek Professional Help if Necessary

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Ignoring feelings of sadness or anxiety can often intensify them. It's essential to recognize and accept what you're feeling. This step is foundational in effectively managing the holiday blues.

Example: For instance, Sarah, a 34-year-old woman, experienced significant sadness every holiday season since her mother passed away. By acknowledging her feelings instead of putting on a façade of cheer, she allowed herself the space to grieve and heal, which ultimately helped her engage more genuinely with the festivities.

2. Establish Boundaries

During the holidays, societal expectations can feel overwhelming. It's crucial to set boundaries that protect your mental health. Learn to say no to obligations that cause undue stress or anxiety.

Example: Jamie, who often felt pressure to attend every family gathering, learned to decline invitations respectfully. This allowed her to participate in the gatherings she truly enjoyed, leading to more meaningful experiences. Make a list of holiday events and obligations. Evaluate which ones align with your current emotional needs, and prioritize those. Communicate your boundaries clearly and graciously to others.

3. Stay Active

Engaging in physical activity can have profound positive effects on mood. Exercise releases endorphins, which enhance one's overall sense of well-being.

Example: Mike, a fitness enthusiast, turned to early morning runs to combat his holiday fatigue. Each run helped clear his mind, replacing feelings of gloom with clarity and peace. Aim for at least 30 minutes of physical activity a day. Whether it's walking, yoga, or attending a dance class, choose activities that bring you joy rather than those that feel like chores.

While physical activity contributes to improved mental health, it can be challenging to find motivation amidst a busy schedule. Don't hesitate to start with small, achievable goals—like a 10-minute walk—and gradually increase your activity level.

4. Connect With Others

Isolation can exacerbate feelings of sadness during the holiday season. Seeking and fostering connections can alleviate loneliness and promote feelings of belonging.

Example: Mary, feeling out of sorts during the holidays, signed up for a local volunteer opportunity at a soup kitchen. Not only did she find a supportive community, but she also found fulfillment by helping others. Consider reaching out to friends or family to build a support network. Organize a holiday potluck or virtual gathering where everyone can share their feelings and experiences. If you're alone, such as living away from family, contemplate joining local clubs or support groups that encourage social interaction during the holidays.

5. Create Your Own Traditions

Traditional holiday customs can become overwhelming or painful if they remind you of happier times now past. Creating new traditions can facilitate healing and rejuvenate the spirit of the season.

Example: After losing his partner, Dan decided to honor his late partner by making their favorite holiday dish every year, but he also added a Twelfth Night celebration where he invited friends to reminisce and create new memories together.

Think of one or two unique traditions that resonate with you. It could be writing letters to loved ones, hosting holiday movie nights, or engaging in creative activities like crafting homemade decorations. However, be cautious of creating traditions that feel more like obligations than sources of joy. Each new tradition should enhance your holiday experience rather than complicating it.

6. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Mindfulness encourages individuals to stay present, tackling feelings of anxiety associated with past or future situations. Practicing gratitude shifts the focus away from negative emotions, creating space for positivity.

Example: Nicole incorporated a nightly gratitude practice into her routine during December, writing down three things she appreciated each day. This simple habit noticeably lifted her spirits. Set aside a few moments each day for mindfulness meditation or deep-breathing exercises. Consider using apps designed for guided breathing exercises to facilitate focus.

Integrate gratitude practices into family or friend gatherings. Encourage everyone to share something they're grateful for to cultivate a more positive atmosphere.

7. Seek Professional Help if Necessary

In some cases, the feelings associated with the holiday blues are more profound than standard sadness or seasonal anxiety. If emotional distress becomes overwhelming, it's vital to seek professional help.

Example: Tom realized he could not manage his feelings alone after weeks of isolation and despair. Reaching out to a therapist helped him process his grief and develop coping mechanisms tailored to him. If feelings of sadness persist for weeks or lead to thoughts of self-harm, do not hesitate to call a mental health professional. Many offices offer flexible schedules during the holiday season to accommodate those who need them. Seeking help is often stigmatized, but it can lead to profound healing. However, finding the right professional fit may take time and effort.

The holiday season can become a time of enrichment rather than a period clouded with melancholy. By implementing these effective coping strategies, individuals can embrace the festivities with healthier perspectives, centered on connection and personal joy.

IDENTIFYING THE REASON IS KEY:

Issue 1: Overwhelming Stress from Family Gatherings

Scenario: You've agreed to host the family holiday dinner, but the thought of coordinating everyone's schedules and preferences is causing you significant anxiety. Cope by breaking the event down into manageable tasks. Start by creating a checklist that includes menu planning, grocery shopping, and seating arrangements. Delegate responsibilities – ask family members to bring a dish or help with decorations. Consider hosting a potluck to ease your workload. If tensions arise during the gathering, practice deep-breathing techniques or take brief breaks to reset.

Issue 2: Feelings of Loneliness After Loved Ones Leave

Scenario: After your friends visit for a festive gathering, you find yourself feeling isolated as soon as they leave. To avoid these feelings, schedule follow-up activities with your friends, such as going for coffee or a lunch date, to maintain connections post-holiday.

Create a list of activities you can do when feeling lonely, like going for a walk, starting a new book, or engaging in a hobby. Set aside time for virtual hangouts or calls with those who live afar. Many people keep a daily gratitude journal, which may also help shift their focus to positive experiences and balance feelings of loneliness.

Issue 3: Struggling with Financial Pressure

Scenario: The holiday season puts pressure to buy gifts, decorate, and travel, leading to anxiety about strained finances. It helps to establish a realistic budget early in the season. Consider homemade gifts or experiences rather than expensive items. Set spending limits and prioritize meaningful gestures over material ones. Explore free local holiday events that won't break the bank. If you feel overwhelmed by credit card debt, create a repayment plan by breaking it into achievable monthly goals.

Issue 4: Anxiety Triggered by Social Obligations

Scenario: You dread attending parties because of the pressure to socialize and perform small talk, which exacerbates your anxiety. Identify a "safe" person to participate in events with, someone you feel comfortable talking to, who can alleviate some pressure. Arrive early to help you acclimate to the environment before it fills up with people. Set a time limit for your attendance—permit yourself to leave after a specific period if you start to feel overwhelmed. Prepare a few conversation starters in advance to ease into interactions.

Issue 5: Coping with Loss or Grief During the Holidays

Scenario: The holiday season serves as a painful reminder of a loved one who has passed away, leading to feelings of emptiness. Honor your feelings by creating a memorial tradition, such as lighting a candle in their memory or sharing stories with family members. Channel your grief into something positive. Allow yourself to take breaks from festive activities if necessary, prioritizing moments of reflection and self-care.

Issue 6: Overindulgence in Food and Drink

Scenario: The abundance of holiday treats and drinks leads to overindulgence, causing discomfort and guilt afterward. However, who doesn't at least overeat? Try planning your meals and snacks ahead of time, integrating healthy options alongside your favorite holiday foods. Practice mindful eating—take time to savor each bite rather than eating mindlessly. Allow yourself to indulge in moderation; set a limit on how many treats you allow each day. Engage in physical activities, such as walking after meals, to help ward off feelings of heaviness and guilt.

IN CLOSING:

Navigating the holiday season can be challenging for many, with feelings of loneliness, stress, and sadness often surfacing. However, by implementing effective coping strategies such as maintaining social connections, practicing mindfulness, and setting realistic expectations, individuals can significantly enhance their emotional well-being during this time. Embracing self-care, whether through physical activities, creative outlets, or volunteering, can also foster a sense of purpose and joy. Remember, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings and seek support when needed. By prioritizing mental health and employing these strategies, you can transform the holiday season into a more joyful and fulfilling experience.

In my case, some might think I have the best of two worlds. After some time, I came up with my solution. Remember, every problem has a solution. Oftentimes, it is right in front of us, but we don't see it because our emotions cloud our vision. However, when we open our eyes and break it down, we can find the solution. What I do now is go back to Connecticut for an early Christmas with my family there. This gives me my sense of what I grew up with and was accustomed to. Then I return home to Florida and have Christmas with my family here. Yes, it is the best of two worlds.

Yes, a bit of traveling, but well worth it. Wanting something is different from missing something. Keep in mind: We can't miss what we never had, because we never experienced it to begin with. We may all want to be millionaires. That's fine. However, we can't miss being a millionaire if we've never experienced it, because we have no real point of reference to miss. The moral is that, for those born and raised in Florida, Christmas as they have experienced it all these years is normal for them. My normality comes from experiencing Christmas in two places. Hence, problem solved.

Thank you for reading my post. With all my upcoming travel, I want to try to make a video presentation to better connect with you all sometime in December, before the holidays. Let's hope for the best.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post. I invite you to subscribe to my blog. All it takes is an email address. We never sell or share our email list. Your privacy is paramount. You will never receive emails from ads or advertisers. Just an email when a blog is posted, so you never miss a post. While you are here, why not visit the Author's Pen page and subscribe to my blog to become part of our family? Alternatively, you can click on this link. SUBSCRIBE. You can also subscribe to my YouTube or Vimeo channel, and follow me on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Truth Social, and "X" (Formerly Twitter) by clicking any of my social media links at the bottom of any page.

Please feel free to leave a comment. If you would like me to discuss a topic or have any questions regarding a post, please email me at crondina@caesarrondinaauthor.com. As always, I accept guest blog posts. If you wish to write about a topic, email your finished draft in editable Word format to crondina@caesarrondinaauthor.com. I will review your article and get back to you.