"Does Winning An Argument Exist?"

November 2, 2018

An argument is a discussion where two or more people do not agree, and the discussion gets out of hand, no longer representing a healthy exchange of ideas or views. Arguments can become heated, passionate, and may result in some form of violence. We have seen this in protests, speakers at colleges, and many other public forums. It is most common in face to face human interactions. There is one primary thought to keep in mind. 

 

The best way to avoid an argument is not to have one.    

 

Easier said than done. right? Why is that? This is the question we will answer in this post. Hopefully, with better understanding, you might be able to curb this trait in your own life. I say your own life, because you cannot control others. Many times I refer to the human condition. The human condition is "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality". These are associated with human traits. With that said, there are reactions that occur in our body.  

 

 

The autonomic nervous system has two components, the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system functions like a gas pedal in a car. It triggers the fight-or-flight response, providing the body with a burst of energy so that it can respond to perceived dangers. The fight-or-flight response, also known as the acute stress response, refers to a physiological reaction that occurs in the presence of something that is terrifying, either mentally or physically. ... In either case, the physiological and psychological response to stress prepares the body to react to the danger. One or the other is the dominant factor to a particular person more than the other. For example:

 

In my case, I have a predominant sympathetic nervous system. When I was younger, if confronted, I would never back down. If pushed, someone would rather deal with the devil than me. The large misconception is, many people who see someone walk away from a fight or an argument, perceive these people as being weak or scared, versus the one that stay and fight, which are perceived as being stronger. 

 

THAT IS THE FARTHEST THING FROM THE TRUTH

 

That doesn't seem to make sense right? Let me explain. Although these are neurological and chemical responses in the body, they can be controlled. It is not easy, because it is your innate behavior, meaning, it is hardwired to you since birth. However, any innate behavior can be changed to be a learned behavior. A learned behavior is one that a person learns by many means.

  • Meaning what they see  

  • Environment

  • Education

  • Willingness to change

  • Upbringing

  • Socialization, meaning, who they associate with

  • and more

What an individual must be able to do is learn to control these responses and evaluate each situation. This will not be easy, but very doable. I did it, it only takes practice.

 

The first step is to realize that no argument is productive. The vast majority of times an argument will not have a positive outcome. I could give your scores of examples. Rather, look at your own experiences. How many arguments have you had that resulted in a positive outcome? There is a difference between an argument, a constructive exchange of ideas, or a passionate debate. When you argue, you lose the ability to see both sides of the issues. You only see your own. Wanting to be right and win is a normal human trait, especially in those individuals that are of a more competitive by nature. That is where the downfall begins.

 

NO ONE CAN KEEP AN OPEN MIND WHILE THEY ARE FOCUSED ON MAKING THEIR OWN POINT  

 

How can this be avoided?  

  • Learn to listen before you speak

  • Think before you speak

  • Do not react out of emotions

  • Know what you are talking about

  • Look ahead to what the outcome could be

  • Decide whether or not you are prepared to accept the consequences

  • Know when to walk away, and talk later

  • Know that you cannot control others

  • Know that you can control a conversation by how you react

  • Know your goals, what you are trying to achieve

These are just a few examples. In closing, to answer the question this topic asks, "Does winning an argument exist?" No. It does not. In an argument, no one wins, everyone loses. Your own perception my be you won, the reality is, any time one or more parties or not happy, no one is the winner, and it WILL come back to bite you later.

 

Please feel free to leave a comment below, and sign up to receive a notification for future blog posts. Next week may be another video blog post. Following on Facebook - Caesar Rondina Author, Twitter - @caesarrondina, and Instagram - caesarrondinaauthor. Get you copy of the the first in my three-book murder mystery series "Life Through A Mirror," now available in all formats, and the pre-orders for "A Woman's Fear," an impactful book on prevention and awareness regarding forms of female abuse, domestic violence, and more, will start in December 2018 for a January 7th., 2019 release. Written previews of all my books and book trailers can be found on this website. Thank you. ... CJR 

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