Four Of The Strongest Words. - Pride, Duty, Honor, Respect.
INTRODUCTION:
As I have repeatedly stated, 95% of my topics come from you—my readers and subscribers. However, occasionally, I choose a topic I feel is essential to discuss, especially if I read or hear something that inspires me to write about a particular topic. When that occurs, I like to credit that person. Two or three weeks back, I listened to FMR FBI Special Agent Nichole Parker, a Fox News contributor, speak about FMR President Donald Trump, who attended the wake of N.Y.P.D. Office Jonathan Diller. Officer Jonathan Diller passed away due to a gunshot wound he sustained from 34-year-old criminal Guy Rivera. This was a line-of-duty fatal injury. One that could have been avoided. Guy Rivera had a history of repeated arrests where violence occurred. The way some states are failing to prosecute these criminals, not setting bail, and continuously setting them free leads to these tragic results. These results do not only affect our law enforcement heroes, but they often affect our citizens. The vicious murder of Laken Riley in Georgia is an example of this. The prime responsibility of our elected officials at every level of government is to PROTECT ITS CITIZENS. My thoughts and prayers are with the N.Y.P.D., the law enforcement community, and the families of Officer Jonathan Diller and Laken Riley, as well as all the victims of these needless deaths.
The discussion I am referring to resulted from an interview on Fox News because FMR President Donald Trump was invited to attend the wake of Officer Diller. Donald Trump did attend. However, during these services, President Biden was also in New York, only 40 miles away. He was attending his fundraiser. He did not take the time to call the family or honor this fallen hero and his family by attending the wake to pay his respects. Nichole Parker's remarks about this and her views on law enforcement were genuine, profound, and sincere. I am sure this is part of her character. She knows and has experienced losing fellow law enforcement officers. Anyone with half a brain could see the emotions on her face and hear the emotion in her voice. It was clear she was fighting back her tears. Ladies and gentlemen, when anyone is that passionate about a subject, it is usually a result of direct experiences and genuine sadness and concern. They have experienced things that have profoundly affected their life.
Nicole Parker's words inspired me to write about what I believe is part of any language's four most important words—I know this from my personal experiences and career. PRIDE, DUTY, HONOR, and RESPECT. I believe in diversity. However, diversity does not mean we forget our history, rip down monuments and statues, promote violence to express our cause, or force our beliefs on others. Diversity is embracing other thoughts, views, and beliefs from different social and ethnic backgrounds and providing equality to every human being. Diversity is not meant to erase what was the past and present, nor should it infringe on the rights of others. When this occurs, words like those I mentioned begin developing twisted meanings. Before discussing these words as they apply to all of us, let me provide some background on myself, which I believe validates why I could accurately write about them in this article, not only from experience but from my heart.
Everything I will discuss also applies to those who serve in our military. These four words also drive them, and they should never be forgotten. However, since this post is more related to the fire service, first responders, and law enforcement professionals, I would rather discuss those who serve in our military in a separate post dedicated solely to those men and women who unselfishly and voluntarily serve our great nation guaranteeing our right to freedom. They have not been forgotten.
MY HISTORY:
My career experience includes being a business owner, educator, career firefighter, and paramedic. I am also a member of the U.S.C.G. Auxiliary, a U.S.C.G. licensed Master Captain and Merchant Marine Officer. I've extended my career as a writer and public speaker. I am now retired from the fire service and no longer work as a paramedic. That career spanned 36 years before I mentally and emotionally was exhausted and knew it was time to move on. I still belong to the U.S.C.G. Auxiliary and enjoy supporting the activities of the active duty Coast Guard, and I still work as a Merchant Marine Captain when time allows. Writing is now my primary vocation. Does this sound like a lot? It was. My average work week was 75 - 90 hours and sometimes more each week for most of my career. My public service career caused me to miss out on many essential things in life. Holidays with my family, missing birthdays, my child's ball games, dance recitals, and much more. I'm sure it was the leading cause of my divorce. It was also the reason for the 13 surgeries I went through over my years of working due to line-of-duty job-related injuries. One of which took me almost 2 1/2 years to fully recover.
I look at this picture, and I think to myself how young and naive I was. I had so much to learn about life. After retiring from the fire service, I went from part-time to full-time status for the commercial ambulance service I worked for on my days off from the fire department. After 26 years of working the road in a commercial ambulance, I accepted a management position in the pre-hospital setting for that company. I had seen enough during my career to be mentally and emotionally exhausted. After 29 1/2 years at that company and 36 years in total in that profession, I knew it was time for me to move on. I continued my medical education during those years and obtained nearly every pre-hospital teaching certification available. Hence, my experience as an educator. I taught in our local hospitals and ran a training center for 22 years. With many of the injuries I sustained, I know that twice, I should have died. I believe that I am still alive only through the grace of God, and he must have a higher purpose for me. Based on my experiences, I think my purpose is to help others by sharing my life experiences through my writing. Writing many books and my knowledge of pre-hospital medicine allowed me to speak at different colleges and other business and social events.
I am a firm advocate against domestic violence and female abuse and have worked and spoken at many facilities that assist these female victims. I wrote my globally acclaimed book, "A WOMAN'S FEAR," based on my experience as a paramedic and the victims I cared for.
I want you to imagine something momentarily because this is the reality for every law enforcement officer, first responder, firefighter, and their families. You go to work for each shift, knowing that this could be your last day alive. You know this but try not to think about it. You do this because of those four words: duty, honor, respect, and pride. There is a thin line between life and death in these professions. You are trying to control things you cannot control. The criminal element is unpredictable. A fire has a mind of its own. You rely on your training and fellow officers and firefighters. At times, you literally place your life in the hands of others without fear or reservation.
As a paramedic, I have saved many lives and sadly lost some. Try looking a family in the eyes and tell them their loved one is dead or about to die. I never kept track of that number. It was too saddening to think about. I only tracked the number of patients I cared for during my career, which totaled 76.251, and the number of babies I delivered, which was 13.
The line between life and death is thin because your life depends on every other firefighter's ability to do their job. Everything on a fire ground must be in sync. Now add the other unknowns. In some major cities, houses used as drug houses were booby-trapped. We laugh at many fire series shows and movies about the fire service because many are unrealistic. In an actual fire, you cannot see your hand in front of your face. While advancing a fire hose through a building, It is easy to miss or not see a hole that was deliberately cut in the floor by drug dealers with the intent to harm anyone coming in to try to catch them. This has resulted in many firefighter deaths and injuries to both firefighters and police officers.
Could you go to work each day and do a job that relies heavily on others that might determine whether you go home to your family or not? Will your children have a father or mother the next day? Imagine the stress. Many can handle it, and many cannot. Many leave these professions for that reason. Some commit suicide after seeing so much tragedy over the years; it takes its toll- a deadly toll. These professions have some of the highest divorce rates, line-of-duty- deaths, and suicides, as compared to others. Yet, so many still do the job. I view every firefighter, first responder, and law enforcement officer as a brother or sister. This respect comes from the fact that they rely on us to save their lives, and we rely on them to protect ours. It is selfless and unappreciated work. We do it because of what we believe in. Remember those four words? We do not do it for the money because, contrary to what most believe, these professions do not pay what people think. Numerous times, I have been told by people that I'm a taxpayer. You work for me. I pay your salary. How insulting. Most would never do what we do to earn our paycheck. The extra money we make to earn a comfortable living comes from working overtime, road jobs, and another part-time job on our days off. We oftentimes work seven days a week.
Regardless of when the rules say you shouldn't go into a scene if it is not safe, twice I have gone into an ongoing shooting exchange between police officers and criminals to get out and care for an officer who has been shot. They would do the same for me. These are personal choices. You don't think about it; you react and do whatever it takes. These professions are NOT a job. They are a lifestyle. I worked in a major metropolitan inter-city where having two or more shootings, stabbings, other forms of trauma, and rapess, and more a night, was standard. At the time, this city was on the F.B.I.s 10 most dangerous cities list. During times when criminals did not care who they were shooting at. I was wearing a protective vest because a rival gang would be chasing my ambulance to the hospital while I was trying to care for a rival gang member they shot but did not kill. In the meantime, I knew that the police were on their way to assist. More than once, I turned in my ambulance at the end of a shift with bullet holes in it. I've been shot at, stabbed, and jumped by many bystanders. You learn to defend yourself or try to escape or avoid those situations as quickly as possible.
A city has two lives: a daytime life and a nighttime life. Both lives are entirely different, with completely different people walking the streets. To survive, you must understand and be able to handle what comes your way, day or night. You must know the people and the mentality and navigate the waters of potentially dangerous situations. At 2 pm, you could get a hotdog, hamburger, ice cream, or drink from a local street cart vendor on a street corner. Twelve hours later, at 2 am, on that same street corner, you can buy any drug, weapon, or form of physical companionship you desire.
People see the police on news clips and complain their response is overkill. Is protecting your life and the lives of others overkill? I don't care if it's in a wealthy neighborhood or the projects. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE WALKING INTO. Do you think the wealthy don't get drunk, do drugs, and get violent? If that's what you think, you are sadly mistaken. It may not be as prevalent, but would you take that chance with your life? The people doing these jobs are heroes, and never doubt it, especially while sitting or sleeping in the comfort of your home behind locked doors sheltered from this reality.
Emotions run high. Emotions are genuine in this work. Over time, we get hardened to many things we see, except for kids. One night, I had to pronounce six teenagers dead in one single car accident when drinking and driving were involved. The oldest was 17. I could not get the thought out of my mind of seeing these six twisted, lifeless bodies in such a horrible state—teenagers who would never enjoy the treasures of life. You begin to think that one day when your children are teenagers, this could happen to them. Especially when you know it could have been avoided and how this tragedy will affect their families for life. This makes you overly protective of your children, knowing at the same time, they have to live and enjoy their lives as well. Where and how do you draw the line? You can only pray it never happens to them. Sometimes, it is not about how well you raised them; it is the peer pressure of society that takes them from you.
I have often said, "If I haven't seen it, it's because it hasn't happened yet." I could describe the horrors I have seen in great detail. In many cases, that is precisely what they are. To help you understand what those of us have witnessed, I would have to be so graphic that you would probably not read another word. Therefore, I will not. Honestly, there are many things an individual must experience to understand the depth of life. Just imagine the most horrible, scary movie you have seen and know that doesn't even come close to the tragic events these heroes see daily.
I am proud to say one of my sons enlisted in the military and served our country for 20 years in the army until he retired. Fresh out of high school, he enlisted, went to boot camp, and was deployed to Iraq. This is a picture of him on his base in Iraq. In my eyes and reality, he was just a kid. During his deployment, I watched the news every night. When he could call home, he was limited to what he could talk about—knowing his job also did not make it easy for me or his mother. We were fortunate that he never was seriously injured. However, I have an appreciation for our veterans, disabled veterans, and Gold Star families that many may not understand. People cannot understand many things in life unless they live through them. Which is something I pray to G.O.D. that no family will have to endure.
When my other son was old enough, he studied and became a paramedic.
He has over 20 years of experience serving the communities he works for. He also continued his medical education, holding as many teaching credentials in pre-hospital medicine as I did, and teaches many courses throughout the year. This is a photo of a rare occasion since we both worked for the same commercial ambulance company; we were working two different shifts on the same day and happened to be at the hospital at the same time. He found his own way in this profession, but to say I didn't worry each day is an understatement.
What have you noticed is a common denominator so far? Yes, you are correct. Those four words. Duty, Honor, Pride, and Respect. No one can do these jobs if they lack even one. These individuals do not have the luxury you do. They cannot take out on another person what someone they interacted with before did to them. If a store clerk gets you mad, you are aggravated for the rest of the day. In these professions, you MUST forget the last call and move on to the next. Some take the stress of the job home with them. Others do not. I did not. I took the time on my drive home to do my best to put it out of my mind or not take my sadness, anger, or frustration out on others. I left that for the gym or the shooting range.
Many say this type of work has to be in your blood. That is not true. It has to be in your heart. Those who do this work understand and believe in these four words—duty, honor, pride, and respect. It is what drives them, keeps them alive, and makes them get up each day to do it again. When someone in these professions dies in the line of duty, others from all these professions come together from around the country and attend the services to honor the deceased and support the family. The family knows they will never be alone because they are part of a larger family.
I provided you with this personal history so you can understand that as I discuss these four words, I know them, lived them, and still do because it is a lifestyle, as I previously stated. The way you live your life, conduct yourself and treat others. I always say we have seen things that no one should ever see. However, someone must. Someone must do the job. If you do these jobs long enough, you will see tragedy, sadness, and situations that could have been avoided, especially those involving children. Those are the worst tragedies of all. You will see things that will make you turn away and vomit. It will tear your heart and emotions apart. It can make you question your faith in G.O.D. and humanity.
Everyone in this profession shares and understands that no one asks for or expects a thank you. We know what we signed up for, the risks involved, and the sacrifices we must make. And frankly, very few thank you. In today's woke society, you are looked down upon rather than looked up to. No one is perfect. Mistakes will be made. That applies to any profession. The training is always ongoing to reduce these possibilities, and the work will be tiring, almost always with no reward other than the knowledge we helped someone. That is self-gratification. However, you would better understand this if I could describe what it feels like to save a life that would have probably been lost if not for your interventions or to bring a new life into this world; not only would you believe in G.O.D. and miracles, you would understand why these men and women do the job.
PRIDE, HONOR, DUTY, RESPECT:
Pride, honor, duty, and respect are four timeless values that have been the cornerstones of civilizations for centuries. These values are fundamental to personal growth and development and crucial for fostering a sense of community, upholding moral standards, and maintaining social order. I want to explain the significance of pride, honor, duty, and respect, how they build a stronger connection between people, and explore how following these values can lead to a more prosperous world and why these professions are comprised of heroes.
Pride:
Pride is often misunderstood as arrogance or self-centeredness. The "who do they think they are" attitude. However, in its intended form, pride is a sense of deep satisfaction and fulfillment derived from one's achievements, qualities, or affiliations. It drives us to establish our self-improvement goals, ambition, and identity. Individuals who take pride in their work are likelier to strive for excellence and contribute positively to all things associated with their lives. Pride also instills confidence and resilience, enabling individuals to overcome challenges and setbacks with determination.
However, pride can also cause people to be closed-minded and not open to seeing when they may be incorrect about something or not being fair to others. There are many ways in which pride is developed. The primary way is through mentoring and experience. Some believe that some degree of pride that a person has is hard-wired into their D.N.A. from birth: an inherited trait or part of human nature. However, through mentoring, if someone looks up to the wrong type of person, their view and how they build their own pride will damage them and those around them.
Some people feel the need to show their pride. Showing your pride should never be necessary, and some who think they must display this often have a degree of insecurity. Just be yourself. People will see your degree of pride through your actions, words, and deeds. Your pride will define itself, and others will take notice. Remember, to be more intelligent, be around those smarter than you. If you want to be a better person, be around those who are good people. Most things in life fall into place on their own. You only need to let them happen. It is important to note that pride is an emotion an individual feels about themselves. It's an internal feeling of accomplishment. Whether it involves personal development or mental or physical performance, a good example might be military training such as boot camps, specialized training, police academy, or fire academy. The main goal is to break someone down. Test their will and challenge their abilities as they build them up. Those who succeed feel a great amount of 'pride' in their accomplishment.
Honor:
Honor is the moral compass that guides individuals to act with integrity, honesty, and loyalty. The inner code of ethics governs one's behavior and decisions, even in the face of adversity or temptation. When honor is upheld, trust is built, relationships are strengthened, and we are held together socially. Honorable individuals are respected and admired for their steadfastness, reliability, and principles, serving as role models for others to emulate. In a society where honor is cherished, deceit, betrayal, and corruption are diminished, paving the way for a more virtuous way of life.
Like pride, honor is often learned through experience and those we surround ourselves with. For example, children raised in a military family learn about honor and pride earlier in life because it is part of their everyday lifestyle. Like pride, honor can also be misplaced. This is more prevalent in impoverished neighborhoods, where children join gangs at a young age due to a lack of parental supervision and good role models, as well as other social factors. In some violent gangs, it is an honor, or it is honorable, to kill a member of a rival gang, police officer, or others. It is like a badge of honor.
Honor is an emotion we feel when we serve a higher purpose. In most cases, a purpose that represents something good and beneficial for others or a way of life. Honor cannot be bought at a store or online. We honor others in life and death by how they lived.
Duty:
Duty is the sense of obligation and responsibility towards one's role, obligations, and commitments. It is the understanding that one has a duty to fulfill and an obligation to others, their community, church, and country, family, and to nurture future generations. Duty compels individuals to act in service of the greater good, make sacrifices for the benefit of others, and uphold strong values and norms. The tricky part is when the norms are constantly changing. When individuals embrace their duties with diligence and dedication, they contribute to the collective well-being and the common good, fostering a sense of unity and cohesion within society and others in their profession.
It is often said that cops hang out with other cops, firefighters, and first responders hang out with people in the same profession. This statement is mostly true. Not because they feel they are better than others, partially because it is who they work with daily, but mainly because their friend base revolves around people who share the same values.
A sense of duty is the primary drive that makes those in the fire service, first responders, and law enforcement officers choose these professions. However, duty comes with a price tag that not all, even if they possess a sense of duty, are willing to pay. I am speaking about duty and commitment to the public service job they perform. Others will display other forms of duty, such as duty to their family or duty to their responsibility to follow through on a commitment they may have made. Whatever sense of duty an individual possesses, they must live according to the standards they set for themselves.
Respect:
Respect is the foundation of relationships, mutual understanding, and peaceful coexistence. It recognizes every individual's inherent worth and dignity, regardless of their background, beliefs, or status. Respect fosters empathy, tolerance, and compassion, creating a climate of acceptance and inclusivity. When respect is practiced in all interactions, conflicts are resolved peacefully, diversity is celebrated, and cooperation flourishes. Respecting others also means valuing their perspectives, experiences, and contributions, leading to a more equitable and just society.
As individuals, we do not always agree on things, and we will not always agree. However, we must respect the views of others, as it is as much their right to have their opinions as it is to have yours. Respect becomes tarnished when we allow violence and disruption to enter the equation. We have lost mutual respect when that occurs, and the outcome is never positive. We live in a much more diversified world. Our world has evolved and is filled with different cultures, ways of thinking, and social issues that may or may not be considered socially acceptable.
We live in a four generational society. Each generation knows and remembers how things were when they were children, how they were raised, and what was considered normal during those times. Change is difficult for each generation to accept. However, the youngest of the four generations hasn't even begun to live yet. As they grow, they will learn through examples set by older generations. This makes respect paramount in securing a solid future for our young people. The trick is getting people to realize this. Life will never be one way for any culture. People must learn to live as they choose and not force their beliefs on others, especially through any form of violence.
As I write this, I remember my first day on the job as a firefighter/paramedic. It was the first day of a two-week orientation before you were assigned to a shift/platoon. The first introduction and welcome we received was from our department Chief. I remember his words. To summarize, he welcomed us to the department. He went on to inform us, and his words were NOT a request; to summarize, he said, you are now members of this department. You are on duty 24 hours a day, seven days a week, whether you are on or off shift. You will always conduct yourselves in and out of the firehouse by the conduct expected by this department and our community. You will never conduct yourself in a manner that is disrespectful to this department or the uniform and badge you wear. You are held to a higher standard. That is the best way to stay out of my office.
He was a retired marine Colonial. His presence in any room commanded respect. When you serve a community, even in the case of a local law enforcement officer, you get to know many of the people in the community. They look up to you as a source of moral value in the community and a source of help. A person they can rely upon. It would be best if you never betrayed that trust. That doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun. It means you can't go out for drinks at the local bar and start a fight because you are a drunken mess.
IN CLOSING:
Raising three children, caring for and taking care of people, and serving my country have been the greatest honor and privilege of my life. However, now, in a different way, I continue down that path. We must follow our hearts. From time to time, we all ask ourselves, would we do anything differently if we could do it again? I guess there are always things we may have done differently. We may not have made certain choices, but that is part of the learning process. I have no regrets.
Pride, honor, duty, and respect are essential values that form the bedrock of our society and, for some, the jobs they do. When individuals internalize these values and uphold them in their thoughts and actions, they contribute much to society, their community, family, and friends. By developing pride in one's achievements, honoring ethical principles, fulfilling one's responsibilities, and respecting others, individuals can forge a society and relationships built on integrity, unity, and empathy.
As much as I believe in diversity when developed correctly, it is unfortunate how diversity enters our society and tarnishes what these words stand for. Their meaning is slowly being lost and requires resurrection. Hopefully, that will start to change with the election of Donald Trump in November 2024. I come from New England and am proud to live in Florida. A state government and counties that support our law enforcement officers and provide them the necessary tools to keep their citizens safe. I will always back the blue. I have seen what many have not and probably never will. It is easy to disassociate from what is happening around you by just hearing it on the news. Reality goes away with one push of a button on a remote control. However, when it happens to you, you have gotten a cruel lesson about reality.
After a few years on the job, we would get new recruits. They would come to work saying, "I hope we get a job this shift." Meaning a fire. I used to say the same thing when I was a new recruit. We would quickly remind them to never wish for that. Why? Because when that occurs, there is the risk of one of us dying and someone has lost everything they have worked for and maybe their own life. Usually, after their first fire and witnessing the devastation and loss to others, they never come to work saying that again. The first time you find a baby deceased in a car accident because the parents did not place them in a car seat, and they became a rocket within the car, you feel the life emotionally drained from your body. You get the full effects of reality.
We can reduce the number of fires through better building codes and construction, smoke detectors, etc. We can reduce crime by bringing back laws that help deter crime and allow our law enforcement professionals to do their jobs. However, people will always get sick or be injured. In our lifetimes, we will never see a crime-free society. As a race, we still have too much to learn. Defunding the police or cutting back on fire services will never be the answer. The increased crime rates have proven that. The issues in the summer of 2020 have taught certain cities no lessons. They learned nothing. A President who has let millions into this country with no accountability has caused great harm to our society and increased the threat to our citizens tremendously.
When the President of our great nation has no respect for the laws of our land, it requires change. I would make that statement regardless of whether the President was a Democrat or Republican. It's just common sense. Hundreds of thousands of our citizens have been killed due to the open-border policies—some by murder, others by drugs, and other injuries. The data does not lie. When we tie the hands of our law enforcement officers, we are allowing this to continue. When we stop holding people accountable for the crimes they commit and release them back into society, do we need to wonder why they continue to commit crimes?
They travel through our states freely and for free. Causing problems every place they go. I understand many want to be here, work, and live a productive life. I also understand that our immigration policy has been broken for decades. However, this is not the answer. Think about this for a moment. What would we do if men and women decided they no longer wanted to get into law enforcement? Then what? Like it's always been said. "What will you do when you dial 911 and no one answers?" We do not live in a perfect world, but we can make it better and safer.
These four words also apply to those people we elect to public office. We trust them to make the best decisions for us, the citizens. Politics has lost the idea of that concept. They tell us what they think we want to hear, then do what they want to meet their personal agendas. Political parties are not the same as they were decades ago. Political campaigns are not executed the way they were decades ago. Politics has lost its way. Therefore, the meaning of these four words has been lost—a meaning many politicians need to relearn. We as citizens must change how these politicians think and remind them of their priorities. However, can we do this since diversity has changed how many people in today's society think? Forget the names Trump and Biden for a moment. Forget the groups Democrats and Republicans for a moment. These titles and names are irrelevant in the world's larger picture today. Look at where we were and what we have evolved into in a period of 3 years. Now, decide which way is better for our society and go with the individual that can get us there. This is not rocket science. These four words are not a mystery or hard to see in others. We need to take notice.
I have never shared so much of my personal life in any post. However, you needed to know this so you could understand this post. I did not get into details about what I have seen. That information is very sensitive for many. However, if you want to know more about those things, my second book, written many years ago when I was a novice writer, is titled "The Soul In Our Heart." I believe it is still available, as is the book I mentioned above, "A Women's Fear."
I wasn't born yesterday. Many will read this and understand, and there will be those who will not, nor will they care. That is fine. However, never underestimate what we are capable of achieving in life. Everything has to start somewhere. Be smart. Respect and protect our men and women in law enforcement. One day, one of them may have to save your life. I have no regrets. I would do it all again. We must be true to ourselves before we can be true to others.
I hope you enjoy my post. Please subscribe to my blog, YouTube, or Vimeo Channels. Thank you.
Please feel free to leave comments, or if you have a topic you would like me to discuss, you can email me at crondina@caesarrondinaauthor.com. Thank you.
Be safe, stay well, and focus on being happy. And remember to always:
Live with an open mind,
Live with an open heart,
Live your best life.
Best Regards,
Caesar Rondina
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