This is an interesting topic because there many reasons this occurs. However, like everything in life, it all comes down to basics. To answer this type of question, you have to go back to basics, because that is where we often time find the cause. I received a request to talk about this topic through my website. We all know there are many factors that determine whether anything we do pays forward for us. However, we could be the primary reason that many times they do not. Really? Can we be the cause? How could that be? I know what I am doing? Well ... maybe not so much.
SHOCKING? Think about your life for a moment. How many times did you want something to work out and it did not? Did you ever look back to figure out why? I'm sure you did not. Most of us don't. You were probably too busy feeling bad and blaming others rather than trying to understand why. Let me help. Here is a link to an article you might be interested in - https://livepurposefullynow.com/3-reasons-life-isnt-working-and-why-thats-not-so-bad/
It discusses four concepts:
1. Having the wrong perspective,
2. Do you need a hero?
3. Misuse of power,
4. Inner direction.
They discuss the positive and negative force for each. I want to add one more.
5. You try too hard.
I will skip the first four since you can click the link and read about them. However, I will discuss the fifth. "You try to hard." What does that mean? The human condition has shown that when we want something, we want it, and we want it now. In this case, patience is not a virtue because you have none.. We lose whatever patience we have because we want it now. Therefore, that is our drive, our purpose, and we go for it. With that said, think about that for a moment and answer this question.
Can anything be overdone?
Not only can people overdo it, in most cases, people will. For example, when you meet someone you like, you want it to move forward, and quickly. Therefore, you push for it, and in most cases, most overdo it, and can push someone away. There is something to say about a flower. You plant a seed, and watch it grow. Life is no different. Of course, there are things you may need to get done quicker than others, but those are not the things we are discussing.
In short, when you want something, do not become overbearing. If you are being considered for a promotion at work, it is because of the way you have been working and your achievements. Just continue what you have been doing that made you successful to begin with. Why change a great recipe? In relationships, often times, people expect more then what others are ready to give. They push for it, become overbearing, and eventually push someone away. I had to laugh when I wrote that. Do you know what the biggest complaint in a relationship is?
NOT GIVING THE OTHER SPACE! People say they love to cuddle. That is a word that has a wide perception. What the heck is cuddling? The majority of people do not want to be smothered. Meaning; LET ME BREATHE! Personal contact is great if it is not overbearing. Of course there will be times when that will occur. I am referring to it constantly occurring. Believe it or not, just being together, even if you are on separate couches watching a movie, is a form of cuddling. It's called companionship. Instead, someone will feel the need to be literally on top of someone else all the time. Let's face it. No one wants to hurt someone. Therefore, they say nothing. In time, they will find that they are not fond of that behavior. In most cases, if someone mentions it, the other individual feels insulted rather than understand that being together is the important part. Hence, the beginning of why that won't work out. Let's NOT take that to extremes. In every situation there needs to be a healthy mix so both people are getting their needs met. As I said, it is about perception. The moral being, do we as people push so hard that we cause things not to work out? I would say yes because that is human nature. Although there are exceptions to the rule, the truth is it is the fault of people. One or the other simply does not understand, so the other says nothing not to cause a problem. In the meantime, you're spiraling downhill.
CONTROL: Are you so controlling of everything that you do not allow others to be themselves? Does this cause you to try to make someone what you want them to be? These things and more are some of the things that push people away, and cause things not to work out. The same applies to a project, work, or other things in life. The concept of promoting things to work out through positive thoughts and interactions is the same no matter what it relates to. It is a concept. The way you live your life.
SECURITY: Is someone insecure because of these actions? Some may say yes. I believe we all have some degree of insecurity. No one is that rock solid. However, never confuse insecurity with the needs of a person. Just because someone has a need, it does not mean they are insecure in that area. You cross the line to insecurity when your needs outweigh the actions of another individual and you become controlling. Is that what you want to do while navigating in new waters? Insecurity can be a product of past experiences or someone who has never gotten their needs met at any level. The key is, if what you are doing has never proven to reap success, why continue doing it? Try a different more positive approach. What do you have to lose?
Fixing why things do not work out is determined not only by you, but also by others. You cannot control others, only yourself. Therefore, give it your best you. Plant that seed, and let the flower grow. Know when it needs water, and water it. Know when it needs sunshine and the need to breathe, and let it breathe. The pot will only hold so much water before it spills out. Too much of anything good, can also be bad. It is a matter of learning and having the ability to practice balance. Know the when, where, and how. That will help you to stop asking the question, why don't things work out?
IN CLOSING: Understand that no matter how right you do things, there are times that somethings will not work out for you. You should realize it is a fact of life and continue to move forward in a positive direction. When it doesn't, reflect on it, and honestly look to see if you contributed to it not working out. That is how you learn and not make the same mistakes. Face it. None of us are perfect. In almost every case, all those involved have contributed to something not working out. Most times, they never spoke about it, or did, and someone was offended, rather than take it constructively. Many will read this and feel I missed many things. However, this is not a classroom. It is a blog post that takes on the most important points. However, I realize that people can be critical. That too is a part of life. Follow me on Facebook - CaesarRondinaAuthor, Twitter - @caesarrondina, and Instagram - caesarrondinauthor. Also, thanks to all that view my video blog posts I post once a month. I have fun doing them, and try to make it more of a personal experience once a month. Please feel free to leave a comment below.
Thank you .... Caesar Rondina