Appreciation - Is It Lacking?
Appreciation. Good evening everyone. Sneaking this in as I get ready for my trip to San Diego, California. I always say that anyone that is part of the entertainment community in any form knows that anything can inspire you at any time. Especially when you least expect it. 90% of the topics of my blog posts come from suggestions sent in by readers. I am proud to say that well over 4,000 people now subscribe to my blog. Do everyone one of them love each one, I doubt it. However, In the short time I have been writing my weekly blog, people realize I post about a wide variety of topics. Life is about diversity. This week no one requested this topic. I decided to write about this topic because of a Twitter post by someone I follow. I never use anyone's name without their permission when they request a topic. However, in this case, she did not request it, and I think it only fair to credit her Twitter post which gave me the idea to write on this topic. I do a fair amount of traveling. Much is within a couple of hours of home. The days I travel, I watch the early morning traffic report. Everyone who knows me is fully aware that I hate traffic, but it's a reality of life. I watch the early morning report to avoid issues. Moving on, Alyssa Rae Taglia does the morning traffic report on our local station, WTNH, TV-8. From time to time, I tweet her thanking her for saving me from getting stuck in dreaded traffic, especially when I go into NYC. Why, because I APPRECIATE what she does.
A few days back I was trying to choose a topic for tonight from the various topic requests I receive. I received a Twitter message through my phone. I came across a tweet that Alyssa posted about appreciating a co-worker. That was it. Out of the blue and unexpectedly, I had my topic for tonight. Keep these points in mind as I continue on.
1. Is appreciation lacking?
2. As a society, why don't we show appreciation?
3. Do people require being appreciated?
If someone was to ask you, "Do you think appreciation is lacking in the world?" How would you reply? As a word, appreciation shares the similar downfall to others. When not used to much, people do not feel appreciated. When used to much, it starts to use it's meaning. Therefore, when is the right time to use the word appreciation so it does lose it's meaning? In life, most answers are simple. The problem is with people. They often times look for the most complicated solution when the answer is smacking them right in the face. First let's look at the word. Basically, appreciation is a word used to express recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something. One might ask, for those people who have many good qualities, you would surely be telling them how much you appreciate them so much, the word would lose it's meaning. Now for the simple answer that is right under your nose. You show appreciation when someone has down something special, out of their ordinary good deeds. You want them to know you appreciated what they did. Another way might be to show appreciation after a series of events. For example. If you car pool with someone everyday, if you told them day in and day out you appreciate the ride, after awhile, it would have little to know meaning. Consider an occasional show of appreciation rather than a daily one. Everything in life revolves around timing. Showing appreciation is no different.
Since so many people have gotten use to saying thank you, which I still think is not said enough, and other forms of thanks, they simply stop saying it. Why, because in most cases, it lost it's meaning. However, thank you, is a different from appreciation. Thank you is more of a courtesy response to a kind deed such as a compliment, when someone holds a door for you, etc. On the other hand, appreciation is more for what someone or something does for you that is extra special, or has done over a period of time. An example might be if you are a new employee somewhere, and someone has taken time out of their workday to help you to acclimate you to your new job and environment, and goes out of their was to help you, that would be a good time to show appreciation. Under-doing something is just as bad as overdoing it. Moderation is the key. For the most part, we live in a world now filled with expectations. Meanings, people expect things. They feel entitled to them. Therefore, their is a lack of showing appreciation. Also, the way people express it is at times, not so good. They through it out there with no meaning. Think back, how many times did someone show appreciation when you knew it was just for show? The sad part is, that is commonplace in the work place. Better than 70% of the workforce does not feel appreciated at work and signs of that are fake. Meaning, the boss is just trying to be nice but really doesn't care. I ask you, how many times do you feel that way at work. All year you work your butt off, get an at-a-boy, great job, keep up the good work, and when it's time for a raise, the person who sits on their butt received more then you who worked their butt off. So much for appreciation, right? I do not believe we live in a situation where appreciation is not shown enough, I think it is more of the way in which it is shown that creates the issue.
Do people required being appreciated. Most definitely. I don't know anyone that does not want to feel appreciated. However, they just don't want it to be a word used to smooth over the rough edges. Words such as thank you, appreciation, or any word that puts a smile on your face, triggers a biochemical process in your brain and releases hormones. Commonly referred to as the happiness hormones. The most popular being endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin. Look at them as happy pills. They fight stress and pain by blocking those areas in our brain, causing us to have a peaceful and content feeling. Basically, we're happy. I ask you again, how many times in your life has someone you helped made you feel like there expressions of thanks in any form was genuine? You smile, you feel content, and you feel good about yourself and move on. You're day is usually much better afterwards. Therefore, these are all positive effects on our fellow human beings that we share this tiny rock with. This is particularly important in relationships. When I wrote my book Making Partnership Choices, there was over 800 hours of research that went into that writing. I spent two weeks with a marriage counselor, and two weeks sitting in divorce court listening to cases. The biggest take home message I heard from both men, and women, was, "I DON'T FEEL APPRECIATED! A sad set of statistics. 48% of first marriages fail within the first year, 62% of second marriages fail, and 74% of third marriages fail. If you want to know why, as a famous chef says, "It's In The Book." My point is, it's real. People feel this way in many aspects of their life.
To show thanks and appreciation costs you nothing but a moments time. As it's said, "A smile is free." Anything you do in life should be genuine. Be sure you come across as being genuine and sincere. The worst thing you can do to those you love is not show them you appreciate them. In a relationship, making your partner know you appreicate is also a form of showing them that you love them. Saying I love you without backing that up with actions and deeds, simply makes it another word that eventually will have little meaning. People do not ask for it, many do expect it, and it is everyone's responsibility to show it. Thanks Alyssa for a simply post of appreciation for a friend that inspired me to write this blog, and keep that traffic moving. :)
Please feel free to leave a comment, or browse the site. Book3, the final book in the Life Through A Mirror murder mystery trilogy, Life Through A Mirror-When Murder Calls, is now available. The murder mystery series is now complete and available in Print, E-book, and Audiobook. In September, my love story, When Two Worlds Collide will be released. Oh, and don't forget, A Woman's Fear-Female Abuse is a must read for every woman, and yes, even men. All my books are available on all major online bookstores. This year we have branched out and opened a video production company, Altech Videos. Feel free to click on the name and check us out. My YouTube channel and Vimeo channels are growing. Feel free to check them out and subscribe to them if you would like. I am happy to add that last week, we broken the 4,000 subscriber mark. Please feel free to subscribe to receive a notification when a blog is posted by clicking this link. SUBSCRIBE. We do not share or sell your email information. All the links to my different platforms are below. Most of what I do as a writer revolves around my connection to my readers, so, LET'S CONNECT.
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