How Do You Present Yourself?
First, are you wondering why I missed two video blog posts? Well, it's simple. I do a great deal of public speak, and now, video conferencing. I developed a small benign polyp on my vocal cords which makes my voice sound hoarse. It's a simple removal procedure that should be done in the next couple of weeks now that things in Ct. or starting to open. So much for that.
This week's post is a take off of last post on social media posting but focuses more on us as individuals. We live in a different world today than years ago. We live in a surveillance world. Many feel that it is a violation of privacy, and honestly, on some level, and in certain situations, if can be. However, it does deter many crimes that might otherwise be committed. In this case, it's a matter of weighing the benefits. On an average day, you can be caught on a CCTV (closed circuit television cameras), or security camera, up to 75 times a day. If you are very active and out a lot, it can go as high as 300 times a day.
When you are walking through a store, grocery shopping, driving through an intersection etc. Keep this in mind.
WE ARE JUDGED BY WHAT OTHERS SEE
If you look suspicious walking through a store on a security camera, or driving down the road, or even walking down the street, someone will notice you. See something, say something. We have all heard that saying. Tens of thousands of calls for suspicious individuals are placed each day across the country. Many are innocent and a result of how a particular person is acting. Many years back I was grocery shopping. I usually keep my list in my pocket and take it out and put it back a few times. After checking out, I was stopped by security. Taken to a room, and asked to empty my pockets. Of course, I asked why. Because I was seen going into and out of my pocket a few times, it raised suspicion. As it turned out, it was my grocery list. All was forgiven, apologies were made, and off I went. However, as frustrated as I was, I could see their point.
People are far more independent these days than days past. That's a wonderful thing. However, do people confuse being independent with not caring what other think of them by how that act?
The phrase, "I don't care what people think of me. This is who I am. Take it or leave it." Is that a good way to think? Look, we all have fun and do crazy and stupid things from time to time. Under the auspices of fun, that is perfectly acceptable within reason. Let me ask this of parents, and we have all seen or heard of this happening. Here you are in a doctor's office reading a magazine while you are waiting to be called. You turn to a story about spring break and how crazy college kids get. There it is. YOUR daughter is on someone's shoulders topless pouring a beer all over her. HOW DO YOU REACT?
Do you say, she is independent and can act the way she wants? Or, do you get furious? You think to yourself, is this why I'm breaking my butt working two jobs to pay her school tuition for her to do this? What will our friends think? Why did I use that example, well ... it happened to one of my best friends? How are you going to handle that? What will you say when you ask her about it, and she replies, "This is my life, you can't tell me what to do. There was nothing wrong with it? I was only having fun. Everyone was doing it?
This is only one example. On social media people speak of their most intimate life secrets. They get mad over a post and create a post or reply with a rant filled with swear words, that would make most feel uncomfortable. It's public post. Sure, employers are not supposed us someone's social media posts as a reference, but I guarantee you most do.
How about that family wedding you went to and got hammered? You made a complete fool of yourself in front of everyone because you were drunk. You may have been inappropriate with words, actions, or deeds. I'm sure you embarrassed not only yourself, but those you were with. Maybe it led to a fight or argument. Not to mention the damper you put on the affair. Are these things acceptable? More importantly, is this the way you want people to perceive you which ultimately results in how they judge you?
This is the easy part. The reason simply. Most of us do not think before we act. Acting or reacting for many, is second nature. It's done without thought or regard. Again, let me say, I am not referring to the innocent funny or crazy things we do. That is part of the fun of life and living. If I had a dime for every stupid, funny, innocent thing I ever did, especially in college, I would be rich. However, there is a fine line between those actions and those actions which now become offensive. Another thing to remember is;
YOU CAN DO A HUNDRED GOOD DEEDS, BUT YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR THE ONE BAD ONE.
Anything we do that we want to change that has become second nature to us is a simple matter of consciously no longer doing it. Once you change your behavior, that new behavior becomes second nature. However, first, you need to decide HOW YOU WANT OTHERS TO PERCEIVE YOU.
Perception and independence are completely different. Being independent is a trait that allows you to be able to make your own decisions, be self-sufficient, and make your own choices. Perception in this case, is how people perceive what you do as a person. This is where people will begin to form an opinion of what defines you, and speaks to your credibility. Of course, as with everything else in life, only you can determine how important that is to you. Whether how others see you matters to you. I can tell you this. Do not confuse the two because people remember, and you never know when you may have to cross that bridge again. The moral being, how you present yourself should be how you want others to see you, and only you can decide the level of importance that holds in your life.
Thank you... Caesar Rondina
Check out my new private investigator series coming in 2020.
VIDEO PRODUCTION WORK:
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