Does Sacrifice In Relationships Still Exist? - A concept that may be lost. What are your limits?

INTRODUCTION:

Greetings. Besides politics, most of the topic requests I receive revolve around relationships. Let's face it. We live in a world where 48% of first marriages end in divorce, 64% of second marriages end in divorce, and third marriages aren't doing much better. There must be a reason why. We can't accurately compare it to our parents or previous generations. Their thought process was different. Suppose it was for better and for worse. Even if two people didn't love each other, they stayed together. Probably because, back in those days, divorce was not as socially accepted as it is today. People don't dispose of things as easily as they do today. Today, everything is disposable. It's easier to replace it than to fix it.

This week, I received a very touching email from a gal in the State of Washington. She hasn't been married long, and things aren't going as expected. I hope this post helps. First, we need to understand three concepts.

Dependent - the state of relying on or needing someone or something for aid, support, or the like.
Independent - free from outside control; not depending on another's authority, not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.
Sacrifice - to suffer the loss of, give up, renounce, injure, or destroy, especially for an ideal, belief, or end. (other variations. I will be referring to sacrifice in a relationship.)

Two people should be as dependent on one another as they are independent of each other.

CONCEPTION:

Decades ago, when two people lived together through marriage or other means, it was almost understood that certain things about their lives would change. When two people cohabitate, they would realize that it is no longer just about what they want. There are now two people, possibly with different ideas and ways of doing things. When dating, you go home when the date is over and do what you want. You do not have to think that what you do may affect someone else because you do not live with them. However, that changes, or at least it should be changing.

When two people share a space, what one does affects the other. This includes laundry, eating, cleaning, watching TV, having friends over, work schedules, sleep habits, and more. Remember that any couple has the right to live the way they choose. However, most couples will tell you they expect there will be changes when that occurs, and they should NOT be one-way. Unless one of the two parties is entirely submissive by nature, it never works long-term.

I know many happily married couples who have been married for years and have always maintained a degree of independence. For example, if one or the other always had a night out with friends, they kept that tradition even after moving in with another. People do need time away from one another. The key in all these cases is to have these conversations first. Know what you both expect from each other. What you choose is ultimately your decision. However, to go into it with undiscussed expectations in the world we live in today is a recipe for disaster.

Relationships require a wide variety of components to succeed. Many of those components are different or viewed differently by people. Remember, it is NOT all one-sided. The sum of the importance of each component equals the sum of the importance of the whole. This means that the importance of the relationship will vary between people if they disagree on what is important for the relationship to succeed. When we are single, we are entirely independent. We do what we want when we want, and how we want. Does that have to change after marriage? That is up to you. Just know the rules going into the game.

It is NOT unhealthy to be dependent on someone. Whether we realize it or not, we are all dependent on various things. No one is entirely independent. People twist the meaning to suit their narrative. The four words I hate the most are "I DO NOT YOU." Wake up call. Everyone needs someone. You need your boss to get a paycheck, doctors when you are sick, a friend when you need help, and most need someone to talk to when they are troubled. These are just touching the surface of the basics of life and relationships. What matters most in a relationship and dramatically increases its chance of success is the topic of this post. SACRIFICE.

SACRIFICE IN A RELATIONSHIP:

Every healthy and successful relationship has a crucial component that often goes unnoticed and undervalued - sacrifices. SAcrifce is the willingness to give up something for the relationship's greater good, which truly defines the depth of love and commitment between two individuals. Sacrifices in relationships are not signs of weakness or subservience but rather a powerful demonstration of selflessness, understanding, and compromise.

To sacrifice in a relationship means putting the needs and desires of your partner above your own, sometimes without expecting anything in return. It requires a level of empathy and emotional maturity to recognize when compromising is necessary for the sake of the relationship. These sacrifices can come in many forms - from giving up personal time and space to accommodate your partner's schedule to making financial sacrifices for the well-being of the family unit.

One of the most common sacrifices in relationships is compromise. In any partnership, there will inevitably be differences in opinions, preferences, and values. The ability to find a middle ground where both parties can feel heard and valued is essential for the relationship to thrive. This might mean compromising on major decisions like where to live or how to raise children and smaller, day-to-day choices like what movie to watch or where to go for dinner.

Sacrifices in relationships also require a certain level of self-awareness. It is important to reflect on your own needs and desires and to communicate openly with your partner about what you are willing to give up and what is non-negotiable. Honesty and transparency are key to building trust and mutual respect, which are the cornerstones of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Furthermore, sacrifices in relationships often involve making choices that may not always be easy or convenient. This can include compromising on personal goals and ambitions, changing lifestyle habits, or even putting your happiness on hold for the sake of your partner's well-being. While these sacrifices may require a temporary adjustment or discomfort, they ultimately contribute to the long-term strength and stability of the relationship.

It is important to remember that sacrifices in relationships are not one-sided. Both partners should be willing to make sacrifices and compromises in equal measure to create a balanced and harmonious partnership. When both individuals are committed to the well-being of the relationship and willing to make sacrifices for each other, the bond between them grows stronger and more resilient.

WHAT ARE YOUR LIMITS?:

What are you capable of? These things are easier said than done. We all have our limits and what we feel is acceptable versus not acceptable. Some of these are learned about ourselves as we mature, and others we may not learn about until we are faced with the situation. However, knowing the limits of what you are willing to do is the best start, and discussing them openly and honestly with your partner before you make specific steps forward is paramount. As stated earlier, dating is fun and games because both people go their own way at night's end. However, reality sets in when going your own way becomes not being able to go your own way.

We all must know our limits and what is negotiable and what is not negotiable. How else can two people determine if they are suitable for each other? Does love really conquer all? Not in all cases, because inherently, we all are who we are. We can change and bend only so far before that becomes a hindrance rather than a benefit to the relationship. Some refer to this as compatibility. No two people will be 100% compatible. This is where compromise and sacrifice come into the picture. However, that willingness to do so must exist on both sides.

It is essential to recognize that while sacrifice can be a noble and selfless act, it is not inherently limitless. In fact, the idea that one must constantly sacrifice one's own needs, desires, and well-being for the sake of the relationship can be detrimental in the long run. Relationships characterized by excessive sacrifice can lead to resentment, imbalance, and possible burnout.

One key aspect to consider is the nature of the sacrifices being made. Healthy sacrifices in a relationship often involve a mutual give-and-take, where both partners are willing to make compromises for the greater good of the partnership. However, if one person consistently finds themselves making sacrifices while the other party does not reciprocate or appreciate those sacrifices, it can create a sense of unfairness and inequality.

Another essential factor to consider is the intention behind the sacrifices. Sacrifices made out of love, care, and genuine concern for the other person can strengthen the bond between partners. However, sacrifices that are made out of a sense of obligation, guilt, or manipulation can be harmful and ultimately unsustainable. Things such as promises of sexual relations if one or the other does something is not making a sacrifice. An intimate encounter between people should be wanted by both and not used as a tool by one to get what they want.

Furthermore, it is crucial to recognize the impact of sacrifice on one's own well-being. Constantly putting the needs of the relationship above one's own can lead to feelings of neglect, depletion, and ultimately, resentment. It is essential for individuals in a relationship to maintain a sense of self-worth, boundaries, and self-care to ensure their own emotional and mental health.

Setting boundaries around sacrifice in a relationship is crucial to maintaining a healthy balance. Effective communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to negotiate and compromise can help partners navigate the concept of sacrifice in a relationship. It is important for individuals to reflect on their own needs, desires, and limits and communicate them openly and honestly with their partner.

IN CLOSING:

Sacrifices in relationships are a powerful expression of love, devotion, and commitment. They require empathy, understanding, and a willingness to prioritize your partner's needs. By making sacrifices and compromises in a relationship, you strengthen the bond between you and your partner and build a foundation of trust, respect, and mutual support that can enhance your relationship and make it the most rewarding experience in your life. Love is more than just a four-letter word. It has a meaning that goes deeper than most imagine.

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