What If You Forget To Drain The Swamp? - In every swamp there swims an alligator.
As a reminder. Due to my travel commitments over the Thanksgiving Holiday, there will be no blog posts on November 22nd, and 29th. I wish you all a safe, healthy, and Happy Thanksgiving. My next blog post will be on Dec. 6th. at 7:30 pm EST. Hopefully, by then my new studio will be ready and I will resume my video blog post for Dec. 13th. Thank you.
INTRODUCTION:
"DRAIN THE SWAMP." No, this is NOT a political post. Although the phrase "Drain The Swamp" became popular due to politics, it does hold a place in our lives. Not everyone is our best friend. However, there are two other phrases I am particularly fond of:
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
"When you have a skunk in the henhouse, keep it close, so you know where the smell is coming from."
I believe we can all agree it's a shame that phrases like this even need to exist. Although being realistic, they exist because, at some point in all our lives, we have all be screwed by someone we trusted. Someone we called a friend. Now friends is a widely used term. I realize that not everyone I know is a friend. Therefore, I say I have few friends but many acquaintances. With that said, let's dig a bit deeper.
TYPES OF PEOPLE:
There are many types of people in the world. For the purpose of this post, let's talk about two types. Those two types are those that tell the world everything about their lives. Everyone they know, on every social media platform they belong to.
Then, we have the more private type. They may share day-to-day activities on social media but leave the intimate details of their life out of the public's view. These types of people will also be quite guarded as to whom they will trust and tell things to. I'm the second type. Therefore, this is why I say I have few friends and many acquaintances.
This is for a variety of reasons. Some people need to prove what their life stands for; others do not. Some require validation from others; others do not. Also, some are more secure individuals than others. You can also view it as having an inner circle of friends and an outer one. Your inner circle is the people you will share more with.
Understand, I am not judging whatever type of person you are. That's your choice and your cross to bear. Remember, in some of my many earlier posts. I have said many times. Only we as a person will pay the consequences for our actions. Certainly, those close to us may have to share in some of that burden because they have chosen to put up with whatever mood you are in for screwing up. However, the main burden falls on you.
This is our swamp, and we all have one. Also, please make no mistake about it. In every swamp, an alligator is waiting to take a bite out of you. Backstab you, talk behind your back, or give you bad advice for THEIR personal gain. There are those types of people in the world that will glote at your failures. You know the type. They have a sad face when you tell them your troubles while they laugh at you inside.
Studies show that men get away with lies twice as much as women. However, studies also showed that women are scheme more than men. Of course, this is a general statement. However, women are traditionally more envious of other women than men are envious of other men. It doesn't mean either gender is bad. It simply means these are the traits of these genders. The result could be caused by jealousy, financial stature, income, and many either factors.
THE SWAMP:
The trick to not being constantly hurt by your so-called friends is to make better choices about whom you refer to as a friend. Who you choose to tell your deepest secrets to. I will tell you this. Social media is NOT to place to air your dirty laundry. Also, just because you have a friend list of over one thousand friends or followers, it does NOT mean they are all your true friends. So yes, if you are that type of person, you better be able to recognize the alligators in your swamp or prepare to get bitten quite a bit. Regardless, it's never the little nibbles that hurt you. It's that huge bite. That big chunk of meat they take from your heart. The ones that hurt you deeply and/or betray your trust.
Also, men and women, in general, have different traits. Women tend to talk or get together more than men do. Two men can not talk for weeks and still be close friends. Regardless, the saying still holds true that if there is something you don't want people to know or repeat, don't tell anyone. According to bustle.com, and courtesy of the same,
Most people keep around 13, five of which they’ve never told another soul. However, a recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology examined 13,000 secrets kept by a variety of participants, and the results tell us much more than just the number of secrets people are capable of keeping at any given time. The whole thing sheds new light on how we think about and understand secrets — because a secret isn’t just something that occurs the moment you conceal something from someone else. There’s a lot more at play here.
The reality is, very few people can actually keep a secret. Also, once what you tell some is repeated by another, in most cases, it is never repeated exactly as told. Therefore, after it gets around, the story is completely different. Remember that old telephone game? You tell one person a story and ask them to tell another, and so on. After the tenth person hears the story, it gets compared to the original story. It will NEVER be the same. It reminds me of the movie Grease II, when Rizzo tells a friend she missed her menstrual cycle and asked her friend to keep it a secret. Well, of course, she did not, but by the time it was told to the third person, the story was, "Rizzo has a bun in the oven."
Now, granted, it's a movie. However, this does happen in real life, and it could be quite traumatic and cause many problems for an individual. The more personal the information, the more impact, and problems it causes. This is why we all need to know who the alligators in our swamp are. With that said, when your alligators are completely untrustworthy, and out of control, it's time to "DRAIN THE SWAMP."
There is nothing pretty and swamp about a swamp. It comes with many variables and far too many unknowns. The types of unknowns that can cause you many problems in your life. Let me give you an example of what happened to me once. When I had my own business and went out to lunch with a sales rep, oftentimes, they were women. I always told my wife at the time when that would occur. WHY? Because I wasn't born yesterday. Someone will see you, and someone will call. That's the alligator in the swamp. I didn't tell her because I needed her permission. It was business. I told her because I know the way people are. Some may say if she trusts you, you should not have to tell her. Sorry, I call that simple relationship courtesy. Besides, you never know what type of mood that person may be in the day. Maybe they are having a bad day. Therefore, why cause a problem where there is no need for one?
IN CLOSING:
In today's society, people focus so much on being independent. They forget how to be courteous. They forget the simple courtesies that go along with any relationship. When there is openness and honesty, mistrust will not become an issue. In fact, it will support trust and make it stronger. The trick there is both people must be able to handle the honesty. Jealousy is not an option.
Therefore, evaluate the type of person you are. See if it has caused issues in your life. If you ever have to say to yourself, "I wish I never said anything," you probably have some self-evaluating to do. Maybe it's time for a bit of change, and maybe, you need to drain your swamp.
Stay Safe and be well,
Caesar Rondina
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