Accepting Disappointment- A three-part series - PART 1 - "Evaluation."

INTRODUCTION:

Greetings. I hope everyone is enjoying the summer months. So far, this has been a hectic year for me. Like everyone else, we all hang in there. Due to many people going on vacations, emails have slowed down some. This provides me the opportunity to catch up on some requested topics.

Tonight's topic is important and has been sitting on my to-do list for a few weeks. I waited to discuss it because it is an in-depth topic that requires extensive research and time to present properly. Due to the amount of information I need to share, I have broken this topic into three parts. Part 1 tonight is about "EVALUATION."

Each of us has fallen prey to disappointment in our lives. Disappointment comes in many forms: work, a project undertaken, relationships, children, and more. Disappointment should never be confused with grief. Although the five stages seem to be the same—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—they are different. However, our reactions to grief and disappointment are different.

Grief is a strong feeling of sorrow caused by losing someone or something significant. Disappointment is a feeling of sadness or dismay that comes from a non-fulfillment of expectations and hopes. Grief and disappointment can be felt in different circumstances. However, people often confuse the two.

Regardless of what has disappointed us, the human condition causes us to handle each disappointment the same way. When we look at a particular problem, our minds fall into a preset way of thinking. This often confuses us further. If I experience disappointment, I try to look at it differently. This is what I want to share with you in this three-part series. Part one tonight is "Evaluation." Part 2 will be "Expectations." Part three will be "Acceptance." By looking at disappointment in these three stages, we will find it easier to overcome disappointment.

EVALUATION:

Disappointment can manifest in various ways, including feelings of sadness, frustration, anger, and even apathy. These emotions can lead to multiple adverse outcomes, such as decreased motivation, lowered self-esteem, and strained relationships. Prolonged disappointment can also contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues if not addressed promptly.

Furthermore, disappointment can influence our behaviors and decision-making processes. It can lead to irrational choices, impulsivity, or a reluctance to take risks in fear of being disappointed again. Overall, the impact of disappointment can be far-reaching and affect various aspects of our lives if not properly managed.

Therefore, it is important to look this in the eye to prevent the side effects of disappointment. We do this through evaluation. Many of our choices or things we go after are not realistic goals. However, we want them and risk going after them without first looking at the larger picture.

Whether it's a relationship, a job promotion, or other things we choose to pursue, we should first evaluate the possibility of success. In most cases, we will not have all the necessary information to make what I like to call "The known outcome." When dealing with other people, we may have an idea based on our experience with them of what the outcome should be. However, we must understand that the outcome may not be what we expected.

We must evaluate all the possible outcomes before we undertake the task. Many people refer to this as risk management. We must understand that our perception of something may be different from the perception others have. Let me give you an example: If you are seeking that promotion posted on the board at work, you must evaluate whether you meet all the requirements, such as experience, education, time on the job, etc. By failing to assess properly, we increase our risk of failure.

We must evaluate how important something is to us to determine if we are willing to do what it takes to achieve that goal. Often, our desires are misplaced, and we do not put the proper effort into something to achieve a positive outcome.

The most crucial part of evaluation is determining why we are doing it. Do we need a change? Are we looking to achieve a specific goal? Have we placed ourselves in a position to be successful?

PRIDE:

When we become disappointed, it often involves hurting our pride. Pride and disappointment are two sides of the same emotional coin, deeply intertwined in the human experience. They are complex emotions that often go hand in hand, shaping our perceptions, behaviors, and relationships in profound ways and impacting our lives.

Pride is a powerful emotion that arises from a sense of accomplishment, success, or self-worth. It can fuel our motivation, boost our self-esteem, and foster a positive self-image. When we achieve a goal, receive recognition, or overcome a challenge, we feel a surge of pride that validates our efforts and validates our sense of competence and worthiness. This positive emotion can inspire confidence, resilience, and a sense of fulfillment, driving us to strive for greater heights and pursue our dreams with passion and determination.

However, pride can also have a darker side, leading to arrogance, self-absorption, and a sense of superiority over others. When we become overly self-focused and dismissive of others' contributions, our pride can alienate us from those around us and hinder our personal and professional growth. Cultivating a healthy sense of pride that is balanced, authentic, and grounded in humility, respect, and empathy for others is essential.

This is why it is essential to evaluate why we are doing something. Could it be misplaced pride?

THE DIFFERENCE:

On the other hand, disappointment is a challenging emotion that results from unmet expectations, perceived failures, or losses. It can be a crushing blow to our sense of self-worth, triggering feelings of sadness, frustration, and disillusionment. When we fall short of our goals, face rejection, or experience setbacks, disappointment can cast a shadow over our aspirations and sap our motivation, leaving us feeling demoralized and defeated.

Despite its negative connotations, disappointment can also catalyze personal growth, introspection, and resilience. Hence, the purpose of evaluation. It encourages us to reevaluate our goals, reassess our strategies, and learn from our mistakes, fostering a sense of humility, adaptability, and perseverance. By acknowledging our disappointments, embracing them as valuable learning experiences, and using them as stepping stones to further our development, we can transform setbacks into opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

IN CLOSING:

The intricate dance between pride and disappointment is a fundamental aspect of the human experience, reflecting our inherent needs for validation, recognition, and self-improvement. As we navigate the highs and lows of life, it is essential to embrace these complex emotions with curiosity, compassion, and self-awareness, recognizing their transformative power to shape our personal and emotional landscapes. By cultivating a healthy balance between pride and disappointment, we can nourish our sense of self, develop resilience, and foster meaningful connections with others, ultimately embarking on a journey of self-discovery and personal fulfillment.

There is nothing wrong with taking a chance—nothing in life is guaranteed. However, we must know the risks going into the game. By knowing the risks and accepting them, we can better handle disappointment. Next week, I will post Part 2 - "Expectations."

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Please feel free to leave comments, or if you have a topic you would like me to discuss, you can email me at crondina@caesarrondinaauthor.com. Thank you.

Be safe, stay well, and focus on being happy. And remember to always: