What Happened On The Way To Living?

INTRODUCTION:


Has this ever happened to you? You wake up one day and ask yourself; WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON? You are not where you wanted to be in life, test, you can't figure out where or when you lost your way. All you know is that you feel frustrated, or lost, and things in your life are just not right, or going right.


First, don't panic. This is perfectly normal and happens to everyone. Particularly as you begin to get older. How many times have you said to yourself, or heard a friend say, "If someone told me 10 years ago this is where I would be, I would have told them they are crazy." So, what happened on the way to living?


CAUSE AND EFFECT:


Let's try to first understand why this happens before we discuss avoiding it. No matter what happens in your life, something causes it, and that cause results in an effect. The effect is what changes it makes to your life. We all think we have total control over our lives. Many theorists claim people can control their life. That is totally false. We all only have limited control of our life. Meaning, we can control our reactions, but cannot control everything that may happen in our life that has an affects on us. Mainly, because we cannot control others, and we cannot control others, and many outside factors. Often times these events are minor. We deal with them on a daily basis. However, when we spend so much time distracted by these events, it is relatively easy for something to get by us. From time to time, things may get by us that could have a major impact on the road we are traveling on in our life. At times we get so caught up in something we become blind to other things.


The main things that distract us to that degree are emotions and finances. YES, the almighty dollar. Money and emotions share one commonality. You can't live with it, and you can't live without it. Think about it. If you have no emotions you are a cold and empty person. If you have no money you spend your life struggling. On the flip side, when you are emotional, you can tend to make choices based on those emotions rather than what is good for you as a person. When you have money, you have a tendency to spend it and waste it. Believe it or not, one does affect the other. Actually, most things in life we encounter affect other things in our life.


BASIC FACTS:


Regardless of your age, you should be able to relate to this as it applies to you at this time. Very few people are as active as they get older as they were when they were younger. Let me first state that staying active does make you feel younger. It keeps your mind active and helps to keep you to stay in better physical condition. But think about this for a moment. When you were a teenager, or if you are now, you probably never feel or felt that you had nothing to do. There was always something to do, right? IF you are middle-aged, you are busy working, to do what? Make money. Why? Because you are raising a family, you want a new car or buy a house, or just because you have many bills. Here is where the distractions really start. Think about it. As a teenager, how many distractions did you really have?


These distractions have already begun to take you off the path you have chosen without you even realizing it. After a few years, you get into a rut, and one day you wake up and ask yourself, what the hell happened? You aren't a senior citizen yet, however, you find yourself looking for things to do, or don't know what you want to do. Emotionally, you feel like you are a mess, and financially, you may or may not feel comfortable. Somewhere along the way, you did something, or many things, wrong. But here you are, and to you, it sinks. You begin to think that life was great when you were younger, therefore, the world must be for the young. You try to reason out every excuse you possibly can rather than looking at yourself.


Remember earlier we discussed limited control? We realized the only things we can actually control are the choices we make, and our present situation. You can't undo what you have done, but you can do something about your present situation.


WHAT TO DO?


Now you ask yourself or say to yourself, I'm tired of living like this. Regardless of how that is. However, you can control and change that. EMotions affects so much of our being. Mostly, our state of mind. Especially now, during this pandemic. We all have some limitations on what we can do and where we can go. Add to the fact that to go anywhere or do anything seems like such an inconvenience as compared to what we are used to. Therefore, home you stay. Day after day in the same sweatpants and sweatshirt you wore the day before, and will probably wear tomorrow. Not a real promising prognosis for life is it?


Our state of mind will always dictate our outlook on life and what we do about it. It can defeat us, or, it can make us stronger. There are your choices. So many go through life saying, "I wish I never ....." Let me tell you. There are many things in life I wish I had never done. The difference is, I know that, and NEVER dwelled about it. I've spent my life moving past it and forging the present and future I wanted. However, not before I found myself in that same trap. Maybe the trap you feel you are in now. I probably had a more active life than many, and maybe less than others. It's not a competion. I just know that I rarely remember a time that I didn't know, or have something to do, or something I wanted to do. When you worked the adrenaline rush life as a firefighter and paramedic your whole life, the social interactions were many, and life just kept trusting you into another rush.


Nothing in life lasts forever. The human condition tells us that when we get tired of something, we let it go. In most cases, after some time passes, now you miss it. It could be a job, a partner, a friend, it doesn't matter. That's the cycle. It happens to everyone, and at different times in their life, and sometimes, more than once. Those are the biggest life changes because depending on your emotions, which computes to your state of mind, or your finances, or both, will determine where your next step is placed. However, your choices are simple. Stay or go deeper into your rut, or get yourself out of it. No need to make it more complicated.


IN CLOSING:


This is what may have happened to you on your way to living. You did not adapt, and you did not overcome. You became stagnant. You aren't moving forward, you are either staying in place or moving backward. Neither of which is productive or will make you feel fulfilled. You will continue to keep asking yourself, "what the hell happened to me?" I have no idea what interests any of you have. But to move forward, you need to have an interest. Something that motivates you to get off your ass and become active. It can be going to a gym, which is a great way to meet new people, picking up a hobby to occupy your time, take a ride, a walk, visit family, basically, whatever it takes to get you moving and more active. Something that causes you to get up, get dressed, look at yourself, and feel good about yourself. You are changing your state of mind in a more positive direction. Positivity leads to productivity, productivity leads to a feeling of accomplishment. Regardless of what it is. Before you know it, you are out of your rut, and you can get back on that road and stop wondering, what happened on the way to living?


Stay safe and be well. Thank you.


Caesar Rondina

Check out my new private investigator series coming soon.

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