Okay, I know what you must be thinking. What a cruel topic to talk about. Well, is it? However, it's reality. There are some real idiots out in the world. When I use the word IDIOT, it is not implying someone with a medical mental disorder. That would be cruel. I am talking about the run-of-the-mill everyday idiot. You know the type. That person who simply drives you crazy by the ridiculous things they say or do. Not once, not twice, but all the time. I am also not talking about the "class clown." That person that likes to make people laugh.
I'm talking about that person that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. The one who offers the most unrealistic and ridiculous opinions to a conversation they may or may not even apply to the topic at hand. For instance, the person that is involved in a conversation about a weekend trip everyone took together, and out of nowhere, comes out and says, did I ever tell you about the first time I was on a plane? Everyone thinks the same thing, like, where the hell did that come from. Well let's find out.
The word idiot is like any other word. Depending on the context in which it's used, will determine its meaning. The dictionary defines it as stupid. However, it could have many meanings because if you define stupid, it means; having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense. The truth is most Idiots, as you might refer to them, have a great deal of intelligence and common sense.
Then we have the balance of those that people call idiots based on their actions, more than their words. Such as violent protestors. Actually, calling them idiots is a gift. Therefore, before we can deal with any situation or person, we must understand the situation and the person. Before I continue, let me say that yes, there are those that are simply idiots. Nothing you, I, or anyone else will do can change that. Those people, you simply avoid. Some things that are broken just tend to stay that way.
However, if you have someone you like but has the tendency to be an idiot, as you define them, understand why. Now you will see why the title of this post is NOT cruel.
The majority of the people we refer to in our lives as idiots, actually suffer from social disorder. They may be shy, or introverted, quiet, the type that keeps to themselves, have low self-esteem, or a lack of self-confidence. What they do or say is their way of becoming a part of what is going on around them. A conversation, or event. Most times, because they are not outgoing, people tend to ignore them in a conversation rather than engage them. At some point, they will do or say something they are comfortable with which may or may not relate to the events at the time, hence, you sum them up as an idiot, when in fact, they are the farthest thing from an idiot, they simply have not been given the opportunity they need.
I can go on and bore you with all the medical mumbo jumbo and technical explanations you might not understand, but my explanation kinda sums it up in a nutshell. These people do not wake up one day and are like this. It has developed for years, probably since they started school. Think back when you were in high school. Everyone wanted to be in the "IN" crowd. Let me ask you now that you are older. What the hell was the in crowd? The jocks, cheerleaders, or the group that smoked weed? It certainly wasn't the kids in the chess club or audiovisual club, that's for sure. But is that true? I played sports in school, I dated cheerleaders, I was in a high school frat, was I in the in crowd? However, I was also in the audiovisual club. Not because I loved the club, because I was a bit smarted. I got to spend my study periods walking the halls. I would deliver equipment to a room, had a permanent hall pass and a key to the elevator, and I would roam the school. Go by a buddy's class, they would get out with a bathroom pass, and we'd hang out. I guess if that made me a nerd, then I was also a nerd, but a very smart one.
CLOSING: HOW DO WE DEAL WITH AN IDIOT?
That's the real question. It's easier than it seems. Remember everything you just read, and actually, you should be able to figure it out.
1. Do not anyone is a group having a conversation, out of the conversation,
2. Just because someone is shy and holds back their thoughts, be the person who engages their thoughts,
3. If someone is an idiot in the sense of the definition, why have them in the conversation to begin with?
4. Never embarrass this person in public, meaning, in front of others,
5. Pull this person aside and try to help them by constructively pointing out to them what they are doing.
We cannot expect others to learn anything regarding socializing if someone does not take the time to mentor them, rather than laughing at them or ignoring them. One simple rule in life that works in almost every case or situation to find yourself in, is this:
LOOK AT HOW YOU WOULD FEEL IF YOU WERE IN THEIR PLACE.
You will be surprised how far a bit of nurturing, understanding, and mentoring will go when you implement some effort.
Thank you ... Caesar Rondina
Check out my new private investigator series coming in 2020.
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